Brace yourself Star Wars fans, your once great series has been dealt yet another serious blow — Obi-Wan Kenobi has been arrested for a hit-and-run incident. According to California police Kenobi, who was driving without a valid license, caused a five-car pileup then promptly hightailed it for Tatooine.
The police say Kenobi’s original name was Benjamin Cale Feit, but he changed it to Obi-Wan Kenobi in order to win 1000 dollars in a Star Wars: Episode I radio contest and just never changed it back, but that can’t be true — it’s too sad to be true. Nope, I choose to believe it was the actual Obi-Wan Kenobi, because the alternative would involve me spending the afternoon being very disappointed in humanity.
Obi-Wan’s mind control abilities must be getting rusty — he should have been able to cover this up. I mean, Yoda’s prostitution ring has been running for years and it’s never got out.