All the toaster strudels will look up and shout, “Frost us!” and I’ll look down and whisper, “No.”
Before Watchmen isn’t the only Watchmen-related cash grab in town. Warner Brothers and Dynamic Forces (and not DC Comics, to be fair) are teaming up to release toasters this September which will be based on Warner properties like Watchmen, Friends, The Wizard of Oz, A Christmas Story, Where the Wild Things Are, The Goonies, Gremlins, Little Shop of Horrors, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Mad Magazine. Seriously. Because toasters based on all of those things makes total sense. And, if you’re going to make a kitchen item based on Rorschach, it should be a toaster and not, say, a can opener for beans. Mmmm, beans.
The toasters will also burn an artwork related to each franchise into the bread. We’re assuming the Watchmen one burns an ink blot into it, because why wouldn’t this happen? We heard a rumor that, upon hearing the news, Alan Moore commented, “Does anyone else smell burnt toast?” Because he had a f–king stroke, you see.
One more stroke-inducing picture below:
Great. A plastic toaster made in China with a decal slapped onto it. That’s very relevant to the Watchmen fans’ interests.