I’m a big fan of shelled reptiles — I currently own a tortoise and have owned turtles in the past. That said, they’re not exactly the flashiest, most headline-grabbing creatures. That all changes today though, because scientists have found a species of turtle that, to keep things reptile-themed, drains the lizard out its mouth.
Hit the jump for more about this mouth-whizzing turtle. Also, another species of turtle that breathes through its ass…
This fella with the Muppet-like trumpet shaped nose is a Chinese soft-shell turtle. Besides looking a bit dorky, this guy also expels most of his urea through his mouth.
This turtle don’t care. He pees from where he wants.
As in, like, 94% of it. These turtles have kidneys and a regular urinary tract, so they could do things the normal way if they wanted, but apparently they just prefer to go around belching out piss. That’s the kind of bold lifestyle choice you can’t help but respect.
Now, this prehistoric-looking guy is an Australian Fitzroy river turtle.
These turtles looked at what the Chinese soft-shell was up to, were all “we can top that” and decided to start breathing through their buttholes. These guys absorb nearly half their oxygen via bracing river water enemas.
So there you have it, turtles are more interesting than you think! Come on turtles, let’s keep this up — some of you learn to poop through your noses or something and I’ll make sure to report it.