‘Iron Man 3’: Where The Hell Are The Avengers?

The first two Iron Man movies were released before the Avengers were assembled, so it was reasonable to assume Tony wouldn’t get any help: They weren’t around and had no idea who he was. But now, some people will be wondering where the other Avengers are when Iron Man 3 hits theaters next week.

We’ve taken the liberty of explaining it for the confused, in a bid for a No-Prize. Sorta spoilers will follow.

Thor

He left our universe at the end of The Avengers, and still has not come back. And when he does come back, he has his own problems to deal with. Tony’s personal life ranks a bit below saving the world from darkness.

Captain America and Black Widow

They’re both dealing with a problem in Washington D.C., which we’ll learn all about in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Presumably this keeps them from getting involved: Again, priorities.

Hulk

According to rumor, the movie will actually bring this up. Either way, it’s worth asking whether bringing a radiation scientist/gigantic rage monster into the mix would really be any help. What Tony is facing isn’t a New York Invasion kind of problem, after all.

Hawkeye

It’s fairly safe to say that there isn’t really much Clint could do in the face of an entire terrorist organization. Also, he’s not a volunteer superhero: He’s a working special agent for a major government intelligence organization. That’s generally a job title that involves a lot of work. If Clint shows up at all, it’ll be after he could help.

Nick Fury

Speaking of SHIELD, we’re assuming they’re going to pull their usual shtick and show up after all the violence is done. Or they’re busy reviving Coulson.

There you have it, true believers; Tony’s pretty much completely on his own for this one.

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