Krampus, the formerly obscure Scandinavian monster that beats and potentially consumes naughty children over the joyous holiday season, is having a pretty good year. He’s got his own comic book, he’s increasingly becoming popular over the holidays, and now Kevin Smith is jumping on the bandwagon.
Smith, who was once a respected filmmaker and now more or less just turns out podcasts and serves as the go-to nerd for various TV events, claimed he’d be “retiring” from filmmaking after Clerks III. This has meant, so far, that he’s making a musical and creating a Human Centipede knock-off called Tusk because the idea of making Justin Long into a walrus is really funny when you’re high. And now, according to Smith himself, he’s got an anthology horror movie centered around Krampus coming.
It took us less than a month, but Andy and I have finished the screenplay for a flick we’re calling COMES THE KRAMPUS! It’s 99 pulse-pounding pages of what’s essentially SModCo’s CREEPSHOW, with four terrifying tales stitched together by a freaky framing device… Andy McElfresh will direct the “The Krampus vs. The 3rd Grade” episode, Jason Mewes will direct the “Hitler’s Krampus” episode (twisted period piece), I will direct the “Mask Maker” episode, Carol Banker will direct the “The Proposal” episode, and Jennifer Schwalbach will direct “The Bad Babysitter” – which is the framing device that holds the whole mess together.
Or you could just watch Rare Exports, which is de facto a Krampus movie, even if they keep calling the creature “Santa Claus.” Notice that Smith doesn’t identify his own wife as one of the directors.
I hate to rag on Smith because, while his professional nerd shtick is becoming profoundly grating, he really was important to opening up indie film in the early ’90s. It’s just that Smith has not really grown as a filmmaker, and as such he wore out his welcome a while back.
Also, he plans to start this after Clerks III, so, yeah, we’re going to have the guy to kick around for a long, long time. At least he’s turning into Jim Wynorski; I don’t think I could take another “comedy” about forty-year-old slackers with inexplicably attractive girlfriends.
(Image courtesy Gage Skidmore on Flickr.)