“The Millennium Falcon? It’s the car that made a White Castle run and is now filled with parsnacks.“
Behold the beauty and splendor of the Millennium Falcon. Look back at the original trilogy. The Falcon looked old and filthy. This Falcon is shiny and clean. How could that possibly be? That’s because this is the new, improved ship they’re using in Star Wars: Episode VII. Han had some modifications made after he married royalty, and he could afford to treat himself a little better. The man is a war hero, and he deserves the best that his galaxy has to offer.
I don’t know if you’re going to believe this, but I made that whole first paragraph up. That’s not the Millennium Falcon. It’s actually a car. I know, I know… it’s hard to see. Trust me on this. Look directly to the right of the satellite dish. Do you see that yellow thing? It’s an inspection sticker. If you look just down past the front of the ship, you’ll see a California license plate. It’s starting to make sense now, isn’t it?
A gentleman named Bill Deacon took this dilapidated 1974 Chevy Malibu Classic and transformed it into a glimmering work of art. I don’t doubt it took a lot of hard work to turn this car into the Millennium Falcon. I’ve been in a Chevy Malibu (and you thought they smelled bad on the outside!). Deacon fixed this car up and took it to Star Wars Celebration IV, way back in 2007, and that’s where these pictures were taken. How did it take the internet seven years to notice this?
Here’s a shot of the cockpit mounted on the side mirror, featuring Captain Solo and Chewbacca:
Here’s a picture of the rear of the car:
There are some more photos of the car over at Sandtroopers, taken with a TIE fighter hood ornament. You can also get a good look at the open smuggler’s compartment. Ok, it’s just the trunk.
I don’t know about you, but this kind of makes me feel like I’ve been wasting my life. Sure, I have many of the finer things in life. I have indoor plumbing, Grand Theft Auto V, and crippling insecurity, but am I truly happy? I think the path to enlightenment is clear. I need to move to California, fix my car up to look like Slave One, and follow this guy everywhere he goes.