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Everything You Never Wanted To Know About Sex In The Mushroom Kingdom, In One Handy Video

By / 06.18.14

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If you don’t wonder about the sex characteristics of animate mushroom creatures and about how Thwomps reproduce, congratulations, you are a normal, tasteful human being. Everybody else, it’s time to see how Goombas get freaky!

Mating Habits In The Mushroom Kingdom comes courtesy of Dorkly and examines how, precisely, the various creatures Mario runs into, and crushes by jumping on, reproduce so he’s got more of them to stomp. True, we’re already well aware of the intricacies of Koopa reproduction:

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But how do Thwomps, as what are clearly a silicon-based lifeform, reproduce? Are those hills with eyes sentient, or is everything just creepy in the Mushroom Kingdom? Finally, we have answers.

We hope Dorkly makes this a series. We’d love to know, for example, how Tails managed to be born a mutant and yet survive, or why everyone in the God of War series has evolved to carry at least twice the usual volume of blood. Or how they got so mutated in Silent H…OK, maybe that one they should leave alone.


TAGSDORKLYgettin' jiggy with itmariomating habitsNintendoSEXY TIMESSUPER MARIO BROS

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