Let’s Predict Which Trailers We’ll See In Front Of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’

Star Wars: The Force Awakens will probably be the biggest movie of the year. Everybody is going to see it, except for the most pathetic and awful of our species. And for Hollywood, that means a mad scramble to get your trailer in front of that huge audience. But what trailers will we see for certain?

Captain America: Civil War (May 6)

The Avengers punch each other over whether or not they should be part of the government, then punch Baron Zemo, and then punch whoever okay’d S.H.I.E.L.D. being built without actually making it accountable to any government entity.

Odds: A lock. It’s a Disney-owned movie and they want this trailer in front of both nerds who will gush and people who still think Chris Evans is the Human Torch alike.

X-Men: Apocalypse (May 27)

x-men-apocalypse-pic-1

Bryan Singer’s reboot of the X-Men franchise goes back to the ’80s and brings in fan-favorite villain Apocalypse. Also, Storm has a mohawk, and who doesn’t love Storm with a mohawk?

Odds: It’s a lock; it’s been officially announced.

Related Video: Want To See ‘The Force Awakens’ Before Everyone Else?

Alice: Through the Looking Glass, May 27

A young girl steps through a mirror and discovers a magical world full of wonder. Also: Johnny Depp.

Odds: A lock, not just because it’s Disney-owned, but the first one was a huge hit despite the fact that nobody seemed to like it that much.

Finding Dory (June 17)

Pixar follows up their classic Finding Nemo, wherein it’s revealed Dory has a family she just now remembered. Yeah, you’re going to cry in a theater at a Pixar movie again.

Odds: Lock. While they probably won’t roll out any new footage, it’s an audience full of kids and likely full of people who saw the original movie in the theater and now have kids of their own.

The Angry Birds Movie (May 20)

A bunch of talented comedians pretend to be a bunch of furious avians who fight off an invasion of pigs. If there’s no “Bay of Pigs” joke in this movie, it will be a waste.

Odds: 2-1. Sony could really use a hit and Rovio even more so, and don’t be surprised if this is a custom trailer aimed squarely at the Star Wars crowd.

Ghostbusters, July 15

Paul Feig delivers a gender-flipped version of the ’80s classic. Everybody is excited, except for people who really need to let their childhoods go and people who are angry at women on the Internet, a Venn diagram that closely resembles a circle.

Odds: 3-1. The nostalgia is strong with this one, and that may be too much for Sony to resist.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, March 25

Batman meets Superman for the first time on the big screen. Then they fight. Come on, they’re superheroes, a punch to the jaw is like a friendly handshake.

Odds: 3-1. We know we’re seeing a trailer before the end of the year, but Warners seems more likely to put it in front of Creed, which is increasingly shaping up to be a Thanksgiving bulldozer and a better tonal fit. But if the trailer’s out before Christmas, expect at least some theaters to cut it in front of Star Wars. Super troll bonus if you put it right after Civil War, theater owners.

Warcraft (June 10)

Humans and orcs try to live together in peace, but inevitably start killing each other, because working out racial harmony is not only hard, but doesn’t make for a good action flick.

Odds: 4-1. There is no doubt movie executives will think there’s a lot of overlap between this movie’s audience and Star Wars fans, but there’s a lot of jostling to get a trailer on this reel, and Warcraft might lose out.

Star Trek Beyond, July 22

Simon Pegg co-scripts this third rebooted Star Trek film as Fast & Furious veteran Justin Lin takes over from J.J. Abrams. The film will feature new life, new civilizations, and most importantly, Idris Elba.

Odds: 4-1. J.J. Abrams is still involved in the movie as an executive producer, so don’t be surprised if there’s a little Trek hype to season your Star Wars.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 (June 3)

Giant ninja reptiles for the kids, Megan Fox in a schoolgirl outfit and Stephen Amell with his shirt off for the parents.

Odds: 5-1. On the one hand, it’s a movie aimed at kids. On the other hand, we don’t see Paramount spending the money to get this prime ad space.

Independence Day: Resurgence (June 24)

Aliens return to blow up our major landmarks. Or whatever landmarks we have left, because even with a 20-year break, those guys inflicted a lot of property damage. Maybe we can give them a copy of the National Historic Registry?

Odds: 6-1. Fox is probably saving this one for one of their movies, but they might put it in if they put out a teaser.

Deadpool, February 12

Ryan Reynolds has depraved sex, murders people with handguns and swords, and gets profanely insulted by am old blind lady. Fun for the whole family.

Odds: Okay, so this will probably never happen, not even the green band trailer. But wouldn’t it be spectacular if it did?

Now Watch: How The Star Wars Cast Helped A Terminally Ill Fan See ‘The Force Awakens’

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