You all have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to type both Sarah Palin and 4Chan into the same sentence and have it be a legitimate news-worthy report. See, back in September of 2008, you may remember that dude from Tennessee, David Kernell, who hacked into Sarah Palin’s personal e-mail account and PWND her hard by posting the passwords via 4Chan. Well yesterday, prosecutors called in Christopher “Moot” Poole, administrator and founder of 4Chan, to testify regarding the site. Oh but don’t you worry your little heart, things got f–king glorious when Moot took the stand. Like Judge Dredd, Poole basically had to drop a lesson in Thread Slang 101 on the judge and jury.
What’s that, BusinessInsider? Somebody’s trapped in the well:
Moot was called in to testify about 4Chan and the data he turned over to investigators. But, for some reason, both the prosecution and defense felt the need to question him about 4Chan slang. Nothing in the rest of the testimony makes it clear why these questions needed to be asked, but they’re a lot of fun…
Via the Smoking Gun:
Q: And is there any significance to “new fags”?
A: That is the term used to describe new users to the site.
Q: What about “b tard”?
Q: And the term “rickroll” you said it tries to make people go to a site where they think it is going to be one thing, but it is a video of Rick Astley, is that right?
Q: He was some kind of singer?
Q: It’s a joke?
Holy sh-t, you couldn’t write a science fiction novel this good, let alone an entire testimony. But hey, that’s not for me to decide -and that is why I’ve posted the entire 29-page document below (with help from Business Insider’s embed). The good parts kick in around pages 12 and 26, but the whole read is actually kinda’ interesting. Plus, Poole handles his business like a pimp and makes straight hoes out of that courtroom.
Special spanks and yanks to Vince, without whom none of this would have been possible.
*flexes, points to both biceps*