5 Reasons "Mass Effect 2" Has the Worst Side Mission Ever

We’ve been replaying “Mass Effect 2”, and thoroughly enjoying it. Or we were, at least, until we came to the mission.

That one mission. On Aite. “Overlord”. DLC on the XBox, included on the PS3 version, and sheer pain no matter how you slice it.

If there was ever a moment when a planet cracker would be handy to have, it’d be for this, so we could wreck this whole planet, throw it into the sun, and watch it burn while laughing merrily.

“Mass Effect 2” is a great game, absolutely. The overall game is superb. But the “Overlord” side mission is an exercise in wanting to punch everybody who came up with it until they cry true tears of remorse.

It’s the worst side mission ever. And we’re counting escort missions in that.

#5) The Hammerhead

Oh, sweet zombie Jeebus, the Hammerhead.

Why obligatory vehicle sections still exist, we’ll never know. And to BioWare’s credit, they just wanted to give the gameplay some variety. Still, this thing was and is a nightmare: the controls are clunky; the firepower makes those turret fights an exercise in frustration; and best of all, you get thrown into the thing with no idea how the controls work or what the hell you’re supposed to do with them. The only saving grace is that the computer voice in the Hammerhead is an incredible smart-ass, and that does make things slightly less frustrating. Slightly.

It’s like helicopters in GTA and its clones: we know you want to do it, but it doesn’t work. Let it go. Of course, you couldn’t, of course you had to…

#4) Make Us Platform With The Thing

Find whoever thought this was a good idea and fire him. Out of a cannon. Into a wall. Made of spikes.

The one upside is that you can glitch through these areas if you screw up, which you will, but somebody should explain to whoever came up with this bright idea that glitching your way through a section is not “fun”. It’s “annoying”. Especially when you’re dealing with clunky controls.

#3) The Collectibles

Oh, remember when we were talking earlier about “not knowing what you have to do?” Hope you checked the trophies before you landed on Aite, because there are some collectibles you’ll have to pick up. Not that you will be informed about this; no, you’ll stumble onto them after fighting a couple of turrets. And then you’ll spend a lot of time wandering around, looking for turrets to shoot at you to find the damn data packets.

#2) That One-Hit Geth Cannon

Hey, you know what’s fun? Giving a mini-boss a one-hit kill. As his only attack. And you get what amounts to a peashooter to fight him with! That’s fun! If by fun you mean annoying!

#1) For All Your Efforts, You Get Essentially Dick

OK, OK, you do get the Heavy Skin Weave in the course of the mission, and that tree is handy, albeit completely unnecessary to actually finishing the game. Still, you can also find it elsewhere; you don’t need to download this. Otherwise, there’s no huge credits reward, no major deposits of minerals (unless you count the iridium you find in a few spots), you don’t even get some Element Zero out of it. That would have been nice, at least, considering you’ll drag your ass across the face of the whole planet, go in and out of these tiny mission spots with maybe five enemies, and basically spend a lot of time doing nothing.

At least Firewalker came across with a Biotic and some Element Zero. This you might as well nuke the planet from orbit. It’d be a lot more fun, at least.

image courtesy EA

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