A New ‘Jurassic World’ Video Introduces Vincent D’Onofrio’s Character

Previously, we’ve mentioned that the Jurassic World PR team is having way too much fun spoofing content-free marketing materials. Well, they’re at it again, this time introducing Vincent D’Onofrio’s character and the highly trained soldiers who will turn out to be completely useless once the dino poop hits the fans.

Again, exactly what happened in 1993 is swept primly under the rug, as the video rather hilariously pretends that InGen’s interest in running what amounts to a private military makes perfect sense for a genetic engineering company. Also, apparently, the job of keeping dinosaurs from escaping and eating people is called “Asset Containment.” Come on, Masrani. Give your guys a chance. “Dinosaur Hunter” is the kind of job title you need when you’re single.

We’ll have to see just how all these fancy security measures fail miserably on June 12. And boy, will they ever, especially since they don’t have an air force:

Not even a fighter jet? Slackers.

×