CCP Games Hires UFC Fighter Gunnar Nelson To Beat Up Its Employees

CCP is a very weird company. These are the people who started an MMO that boils down to working a second job, except on a spaceship, and made it work. They want to build a monument to their fans, as in a real-world chunk of steel and stone. And, apparently, when ten of their developers make a mistake, they hire a UFC fighter to beat them senseless and stream it on Twitch.

None of that last sentence is in any way a joke. They’re really going to do this. Or at least that’s what this rather tongue-in-cheek press release claims:

The shadowy, morally questionable program reportedly mixed genetic manipulation and intense psychological training over many years and was designed to prepare several of CCP’s video game development staff for actual physical combat against Gunnar “Gunni” Nelson. They will face off in the EVE OF DESTRUCTION event held during on Friday night of the three-day long EVE Fanfest 2014.

Nelson, a world class Brazillian jiu-jitsu specialist, is arguably the greatest champion to arise from Iceland’s rich Viking heritage in the past several centuries. He responded to the news with a cold, emotionless stare.

Really, we should just leave this GIF here and walk away…

…but this probably deserves some elaboration. Nelson is currently 12-0-1, eight wins by submission, one by KO, and two by TKO. He started winning Kumite championships at the age of 13, and won three times in a row. He holds two black belts in Brazilian Ju-Jitsu and the Gōjū-ryū style of karate. He’s wandered in and out of the mixed-martial arts world because of other interests, like teaching people to beat each other up, but whenever he’s come back, he’s won, usually in the first round. In short, this is a man who has the equivalent of a PhD in handing you your ass.

CCP will be testing the limits of socialized medicine May 2nd, and yes, you really can stream this on Twitch. It’ll be a good way to spend maybe ten minutes.

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