Stop me if you’ve heard this one already. A one-eyed filmmaker with a camera implanted in his eye socket seeks an open-minded, one-legged woman for fun times, paintball excursions, and interesting conversation. MUST be willing to wear a paintball gun prosthetic leg. No, this isn’t the start of the creepiest greatest amputee-cyborg-paintball porn ever. This is the newest project from Canadian filmmaker Rob Spence (AKA Eyeborg), who plans to film a real-life paintball gun version of Cherry Darling from Planet Terror:
Hereʼs the basics for the real Cherry Darling.
(1) You can be from anywhere but preferably close to Toronto, where I am from. If you truly kick ass it doesn’t matter where you are, we will find a way.
(2) We are going to help build you a paint ball machine gun leg and video document the process.
(3) When it’s all over you are going to take out dozens of dudes in a paintball gun match filmed Robert Rodriguez style.
I am going to try to work the phrase “your missing leg should be machine gun appropriate” into all conversations from now on. Truly, words to live by. Also, because I have an excuse, here’s a gratuitous scene of tube-topped amputee machine gun violence:
Like this, but with paintball. Also topless? *stumps crossed*