Five Reasons I'm Seeing "Battleship" Opening Day

“Battleship” is rapidly becoming the summer’s big negatively buzzed about movie, and for fairly good reason: it looks ridiculous.

Which is why I, as an overeducated film snob who loves complicated French dramas and Japanese samurai movies, am going to have my ass parked in a seat at a theater, opening day, to see this movie. Possibly with a foam finger as Robo has politely suggested.

Why? Why would I want to see this when it looks absolutely awful?

Well, I’ve got my reasons: as you may have guessed, I’ve got five of them.

#5) Peter Berg’s Directing

Peter Berg has yet to make a truly awful movie. “The Kingdom” could have been more thoughtful considering it was set in the Middle East, but “Friday Night Lights” is one of the best and most honest movies about football and high school ever made, “The Rundown” is a gleefully funny ’80s action movie, and even “Hancock”, as weak as the closing act is, is well-directed.

So, really, if anybody can make a movie this ridiculous worthwhile, it’s him.

#4) Liam Neeson Is In It

So sue me, I’m a Liam Neeson manwhore. The truth is, even when Liam Neeson is in an awful movie, he’s always fun to watch. This is a guy who managed to overwhelm George Lucas in “Episode I” and deliver a decent performance. Yes, he’s here for the paycheck, but so what? He’ll still earn every penny.

#3) I’ve Got To See How They Try and Sell Rihanna As a Navy Badass

Seriously, if there was ever a role that screamed “Let’s cast Michelle Rodrigu-what do you mean she turned us down?!”, it’s this. Rihanna is a painful bit of miscasting, but it promises to be painfully funny.

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