With the Sochi Olympics bearing down upon us with every bit of sh*ttiness it can muster, I believe we forget that it is also a time for unchecked nationalism that you never see at any other point in time. That’s why this story involving American hero William Guile from Street Fighter II, played less-heroically by Brussels sprout Jean Claude Van Damme in Street Fighter: The Movie, really got my patriotism flowing.
There’s was one of those White House petitions floating around asking for the national anthem to be changed to Guile’s Theme for the remainder of time and history, till death do us part and the sun explodes like a round house to the face. And why not?
If Francis Scott Key had heard this opus of human victory, he would’ve thrown his songbook out of a window and thrust himself in front of a cannon. It’s the perfect song for America.
Sadly, the petition is no more. But that doesn’t mean the seed hasn’t been planted. I’m behind this movement at least 200%, which is 150% more than I’m behind the climate change movement and 300% more than committed than I am to my own children (Do your own f*cking science project).
If Guile’s theme really does go with everything, is there anything more perfect than America itself? I give to you video proof of this fact.
(Lead image via Capcom/Universal)