Watch How Many Times Harry And Marv Would Die If ‘Home Alone’ Were Real

Entertainment Editor
01.07.14 10 Comments

If Home Alone were medically accurate, Harry and Marv would be dead so many times over

If you didn’t get your fill of Home Alone clickbait during December, we have one more Home Alone breakdown to share with you. (Daddy needs clicks.)

Screen Junkies — makers of the Honest Trailers series — are back with a sequel to their Honest Trailer for Home Alone. This time, they talked to Dr. Adam Friedlander about the likelihood of survival for wet bandits Marv Merchants and Harry Lime. (Yes, those are their names, now go win trivia night.)

What were their findings? Well, if ‘Home Alone’ were medically accurate, Harry and Marv would be dead so many times over. You would need at least nine Joe Pescis and at least fourteen Daniel Sterns to make the first two Home Alone movies. As for the other Home Alone movies in the series, there weren’t any more past the first two shut up shut up I can’t hear you.

Here’s the full, ultraviolent breakdown. Sheesh, no wonder the Saw movies became popular, with a childhood indoctrination like this. VIOLENCE!

R.I.P. wet/sticky bandits.

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When not writing for Uproxx, Caleb likes to volunteer at the legless cat shelter and photoshop the Babadook into all of his family photos. He once resolved the question “To be or not to be?” through the clever use of General Semantics. Your mom thinks you could be more like him if you only applied yourself.

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