In Which Ice-T Attempts To Explain ‘Dungeons And Dragons’

Entertainment Editor
02.06.14 9 Comments

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In the newest (NSFW) episode of Ice-T’s Final Level Podcast, the rapper/actor reveals he took a voice acting job for an audiobook, only to find out after he started that, “They didn’t tell me this was a motherf**kin’ Dungeons & Dragons book.”

Yes, Ice-T recorded dialogue for, in his words, “some Dungeons & Dragons sh*t”, and yes, Ice T has a podcast. *subscribes ten times in a row just to be sure*

Ice said he recorded 25 pages of the book during a 3.5 hour session, but he’s not revealing the name of the audiobook until it’s released.

Even though we don’t yet know what book it is (or even if it’s really a D&D related title), we do have Ice-T’s description of it, and that’s much better than knowing the title. Via Paste:

“Motherf**kers talk like Yoda,” Ice T marvels. “They were talking about ‘pegasuses’ and ‘pegasi.’ That’s horses with wings,” he continues. “This motherf**ker got a sword that talks to him… Motherf**kers live in places that don’t exist, and it comes with a map. My God.”

I would listen to an audiobook series of Ice-T paraphrasing what’s happening in a fantasy books. And a series of him going through the D&D Monsters Manual describing each one (“This one’s motherf**kin’ horses with wings and sh*t”). Or just an audiobook of Ice-T giving examples…

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(Banner image by Joshua Smith via Creative Commons license.)

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When not writing for Uproxx, Caleb likes to volunteer at the legless cat shelter and photoshop the Babadook into all of his family photos. He once resolved the question “To be or not to be?” through the clever use of General Semantics. Your mom thinks you could be more like him if you only applied yourself.

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