Warning: The above video is mildly satirical and a bit silly. It contains no actual spoilers, although those without a sense of humor may be offended.
Details about the plot of Star Wars: The Force Awakens are, obviously, being kept strictly under wraps. I mean, if people knew what happened in the movie, they might get complacent and briefly stop talking about it, and we can’t have that! Yet, despite that, Force Awakens star John Boyega has apparently had enough of all the secrecy and just decided to straight up blow the whole plot in a GQ interview.
Of course all of Boyega’s spoilers have been censored in the above video, but thankfully, I read lips. That fan-theory about Jar Jar being the real Lord of the Sith? Totally confirmed. Also, all that speculation about Luke Skywalker’s role in the movie? All true! Even the totally contradictory stuff!
Okay, okay, I don’t actually read lips, but if any of you do, feel free to let the rest of us in on the “spoilers” John Boyega is dropping.