Now You Can Smell Like An Avenger, Just Not Hawkeye Or Black Widow

A company named JADS International is releasing a line of Avengers-themed colognes with Marvel’s approval. These will likely be available in April with a suggested price of $40 for the Nick Fury and Loki ones and $60 for the rest. Pictures of the colognes and their ad copy are below.

JADS seems to be assuming that Hawkeye and Black Widow aren’t a major draw, not even warranting a fragrance while Nick Fury (another lacking superpowers) has one. I can understand that with Hawkeye — the dude just shoots arrows? — but not with Black Widow. They are underestimating the market share for “people who want to spray the scent of Scarlett Johansson on everything they love,” and by “love” I mean love. Like couch cushions or slutty ottomans.

• Infinity Formula Cologne

Face danger with something dangerous. Activate the Initiative.

Colonel Nicholas “Nick” Fury. Paratrooper, Ranger, Weapons and Demolitions Expert, Aircraft Specialistand Pilot, Green Beret. Veteran of every US War and Military Conflict since WWII. Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. “The single most powerful, most important organization on the planet Earth.” And the only human strong enough to bring together a group of remarkable people who would fight the battles no one else could.

• Patriot Cologne

Your Attack Plan

A cologne that pays homage to the confident, stand-up-to-bullies, hard working average Joe in every man. PATRIOT Cologne is both reserved and sexy; like a symbol on a shield or a moniker on a motorcycle helmet. Fresh notes of green lime and white pepper are the first to hit with dry oak wood, sandalwood and tequila accords finishing the adventure. Perfect for any time or place, PATRIOT Cologne puts the Novus Mundus in your strong, sensuous hands for you to embrace and discover.

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