One of These Kids is Going to Have a Good Life

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Entertainment Editor
06.01.10 3 Comments

“I learned it from watching you, chimp!”

This is a bit off topic for us, but both these videos were so amazing (for completely different reasons) that I can’t resist.  One is infuriating, the other is adorable.  Let’s start with the infuriating one (I go into everything “rage first”).

Shocking photos of [2-year-old] Ardi Rizal puffing away on up to 40 cigarettes a day had much of the world fuming. […] Ardi, who lives in the province of Sumatra, has another problem – he weighs 56 pounds. He’s too fat to walk far so he gets around on a plastic toy truck. 

His mother, Diana, understands her son has a problem. “He’s totally addicted,” his weeping mom told reporters. “If he doesn’t get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick.”

Evidently, it doesn’t bother his father, Mohammed. “He looks pretty healthy to me,” he said. “I don’t see the problem.” [NYDailyNews]

So he has a mother who’d rather her kid’s health keep failing than have him deal with withdrawals and a father who doesn’t see how smoking at age 2 and being unable to get around without a ride-on toy could be a problem.  Good luck kid; you’re gonna need it.

Consider the second video a palette cleanser for the ragey taste left by the first.  8-month-old Jonathan gets a cochlear implant and hears his mother’s voice for the first time.  This is so adorable I just crapped my pants.  Hey, it happens. And anyway, the kid probably did the same thing.  Solidarity.

[Sources: Neatorama, NYDailyNews, Xinhaunet, DailyMotion]

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When not writing for Uproxx, Caleb likes to volunteer at the legless cat shelter and photoshop the Babadook into all of his family photos. He once resolved the question “To be or not to be?” through the clever use of General Semantics. Your mom thinks you could be more like him if you only applied yourself.

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