Settled: Big Cats Love The Smell Of Gay Men

06.10.10 8 years ago 4 Comments

Researchers are using a new technique to lure big cats out of the jungle these days. Where normally I’d expect a fat steak or Phil Collins album to attract the pussies, apparently all you really need is a bottle of Calvin Klein’s Obsession (note: I put the cologne name in italics so that you would whisper it like the sexual tyrannosaur that you are).

The idea began back in 2003 with Bronx Zoo curator Pat Thomas. Pat was testing the effects of 24 different fragrances on two cheetahs (because that’s what you do with cheetahs), when he discovered that the cats preferred the musk of a $79.00 bottle of CK toilet water. When sprayed on rocks, the cheetahs spent an average 11 minutes investigating the stench, as opposed to the mere seconds wasted sniffing about the competition. Now even the Wildlife Conservation Society (WCS) is using the method in order to attract big cats near their researching cameras for study.

Now personally I can’t really tell you what Obsession smells like and frankly, even if I could, I don’t really think it’s my forte (I smell like sh-t on a regular basis). And so, for the most plausible description of why the cats might enjoy this particular cologne so much, I think it’s only fair that we let Calvin Klein himself describe the stink.

Via CalvinKlein.com:

compelling. potent. powerful. an intensely provocative scent created as a counterpoint to the original Calvin Klein fragrance. a masculine blend of botanics, spices, and rare woods reflect the determination and fire that drives men’s passions. smooth, powerful lines and sensuous curves define the bottle design by Pierre Dinand.

Damn, well if I wasn’t at half-mast already, I most certainly am now. Really though, let’s be honest, that description is way more applicable when illustrating the smell of your urine after an asparagus dinner.

Thank you to PhysOrg for the tip.

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