So This Exists: Marvel Brothel

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Entertainment Editor
11.11.10 5 Comments

It’s simple really. We turn out the mutants. All of them.

I’m sure you’ll be shocked to hear the sex adventure game where Professor X pimps out mutants was not an officially licensed Marvel product. I know, right? How could Marvel pass up an opportunity like that? Luckily, ComicsAlliance snagged a copy of the fan-made game (built with RPG Maker 2003) before Marvel nuked the download page from orbit.

This is the entire premise of the game, that Professor X has turned to pimping not for financial gain, but as the next evolution in the process of mutants gaining acceptance. After all, if all humanity sees is mutants fighting, then they’re never going to really be able to let go of their fear of mutants. [ComicsAlliance]

There’s an in depth look at the game over there.  You start out with only three hoes: Rogue, Storm, and Jubilee.  And yes, Rogue can’t have sex with anyone.  So you have to buy more girls from Mojo.  He’s selling girls from other parts of the Marvel universe as well, like Elektra, She-Hulk, and Black Widow.  You have to choose your roster carefully; some of the clients have very specific fetishes.  Oh man, I can’t wait for the totally meta crossover where Captain Jean-Luc Picard shows up looking for one of these specific fetish girls and says, “Make it number one.”

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When not writing for Uproxx, Caleb likes to volunteer at the legless cat shelter and photoshop the Babadook into all of his family photos. He once resolved the question “To be or not to be?” through the clever use of General Semantics. Your mom thinks you could be more like him if you only applied yourself.

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