I’m not sure how this didn’t cross my path much sooner, what with the Google alert settings and all that robbing. Speaking of robbing, they said I’m only supposed to use one picture from their page but I’m totally using a montage of two. It’s a slippery slope from this to rebroadcasting baseball games without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball.
Anyway, yeah, Tampon Stun Gun. That exists. It’s called “The Pink Stinger” and features a “gentle glide zapplicator”, 50,000 volts, and a range of up to 14 feet. It’s also floral scented, because why wouldn’t it be? You probably won’t get a chance to use this, though. Any male assailant will start running as soon as he sees tampons, before noticing they’re also a stun gun.