Entertainment Editor
01.07.10 11 Comments


If you thought 1987’s Superman IV: The Quest for Peace was the X-Men 3 of Superman movies, you’re more right than you realized*.  Unreality found these two insanely-bad deleted scenes.  How bad?  They turned Bizarro Superman (“Nuclear Man #2”) into a fleshy dude with a spikey mullet who looks like a castmember of Everybody Loves Raymond, or like Larry the Cable Guy back when he was just Dan Whitney.  I’m not intimidated by this Bizarro Superman; I want to sell him a bootleg Member’s Only jacket.  Also watch for Jon Cryer phoning it in (probably while thinking, “I was Duckie, you bastards”) and a fight scene that makes sure you know about Burger King.  And the sound effects.  Holy crap, the sound effects.  Nothing says action flick like a guy noodling on a toy piano while three different CDs of “The 101 Wackiest Sound Effects” play simultaneously in the background.  I haven’t heard a cacophony like this since the last time I kicked a one man band down a hill.

* Superman Returns is the Spider-Man 3 of Superman movies, if you were wondering.

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When not writing for Uproxx, Caleb likes to volunteer at the legless cat shelter and photoshop the Babadook into all of his family photos. He once resolved the question “To be or not to be?” through the clever use of General Semantics. Your mom thinks you could be more like him if you only applied yourself.

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