Growing up, I always admired the way that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles never used handguns in any of their battles (despite what their marketing campaign may reflect). At the same time I was torn, because I also grew up secretly despising the fact that the TMNT had never robbed a Wendy’s restaurant before. Now, after this latest news from earlier in the week, I’m understandably perplexed on just how exactly to feel.
Apparently, employees at a Rib Mountain, Wisconsin Wendy’s showed up for work Monday morning to already find two men inside the building effing ish up. The most unoriginal of the two robbers donned a black ski mask, while his gun-wielding counterpart wore a green Raphael Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mask (hopefully because Raphael was his least favorite). And just in case you were wondering, “yes” the headshot from the banner picture is the actual image that police released to help describe the type of mask the assailant wore. Raphael and his partner duct taped the employees up before making off with an undisclosed amount of
crappy food cash. Marathon County detectives are currently searching for suspects, while I imagine they’re also simultaneously asking themselves, “Is this really what the hell I’m doing with my life?”