These Five ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Videos May Show Too Much. Vertically.

Paramount has released a revealing TV spot for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which shows us what the turtles looked like as babies and as children, and it gives us our best look yet at Splinter’s face:

We also get to see Raphael (with the toothpick in his teeth, hooray we guess?) commanding Vernon to drive.

MIND=BLOWN

Seriously though, why do they have human lips?

Paramount has also released four “motion posters”, which is a fancy way of saying they’re brief character montages with some serious Vertical Video Syndrome. We get to see all four turtles wrecking sh*t and saying something pithy, with one exception. Raphael is the only one who doesn’t talk in his clip. How rude.

The first three trailers are available here, here, and here. Megan Fox jumps the trampoline this August 8th.

Via tochi-tanis, CBM, and Total Film.

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