The Cure for Phonagnosia Lies in Sean Connery

Entertainment Editor

A 62-year-old British woman is the first to be diagnosed with phonagnosia, a condition which makes her unable to recognize voices, including her own daughter’s voice.  She’s been undergoing tests that scientists hope will show which parts of the brain distinguish voices.  So far they’ve found that the temporal voice area (TVA) in the right hemisphere of her brain is significantly less active, while the left side is normal.  More importantly, the only voice she was able to recognize during testing was that of Sean Connery’s.  Probably because he was calling her mother a whore.

In one embarrassing incident, KH was speaking with a group of colleagues at a meeting when someone came up behind her and began speaking.  As she did not recognise the voice, she did not turn around to acknowledge the person.  She later realised, however, that the person was an important colleague and feared that her failure to acknowledge their presence could be interpreted as a snub. [Telegraph via Arbroath]

Anybody else thinking what I am (besides the thing about dogs in sunglasses)?   Sean Connery has a voice not even phonagnosia can deny . . . or this was the most elaborate excuse for a business faux pas ever.  Either way, fair play to you, British lady.  The day is yours.

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When not writing for Uproxx, Caleb likes to volunteer at the legless cat shelter and photoshop the Babadook into all of his family photos. He once resolved the question “To be or not to be?” through the clever use of General Semantics. Your mom thinks you could be more like him if you only applied yourself.

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