Oh, internet. I wish I could quit you. (No I don’t.)
LatinoReview received an awesome letter from a, shall we say, “naive” Taylor Lautner fan. She takes Universal Studios to task for stealing werewolves from Twilight, even though Universal Studios released the first mainstream werewolf movie in 1935. For those of you lucky enough to not know who Lautner is, let me ruin your day by telling you he’s that werewolf kid in Twilight. There. Now that’s stuck in your head where something more important like the lyrics to “Rock Lobster” could have been instead.
LatinoReview wisely printed the entire letter, which I’ll post an excerpt of below:
This movie was a complete waste and I feel that it offends ALL Twilight Fans around the world, that including myself. For one, it was a COMPLETE remaking of the Wolf Pack from the Twilight Saga: New Moon. It gives the werewolves a bad name and makes them look like some deformed mutation of a rabid dog. I actually started to like werewolves after seeing Jacob Black and all his awesomeness on the big screen at the movies. That was until I saw your crappy remake of what you call to be a “were wolf”. I don’t see how you live with yourself for making it the way you did. If I made this movie, I would be ashamed to even admit that I owned it. How can a werewolf be killed with a silver bullet? Better yet, have you saw the transformation of the man that is “supposed” to be the wolf? He sits in some chair and his entire body turns in to some mutated freak. If you would watch the transformation of Jacob Black, (Taylor Lautner) he doesn’t come close to looking as fake, cheap and or mutated as the wolf man. You tell me, who looks to be the better werewolf. Your stupid Wolf Movie didn’t even make the top Movie for the charts; Valentines Day WITH TAYLOR Lautner! Get that this is MY oppinion and I felt I wanted to express it because I saw that your email was on your site.
There’s a little more if you want to read the whole thing. Oh please, Mormon Jesus, let this be real.