WheeMe Personal Massaging Robot, Like A Molestey Roomba

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Entertainment Editor
12.01.10 2 Comments

Congrats, dude. You just got humped by a robot on camera.

A company called DreamBots will be releasing the WheeMe “massaging” robot early next year.  I’m using the term “massage” loosely here. This has little spikes on its four wheels and drives around on your skin, which is exactly what I want in a massage.  It has a built-in tilt sensor that helps it steer without falling off your butt stomach while providing what the company calls “a delightful sense of bodily pleasure.” And I’m officially creeped out.  I haven’t been this skeeved since I woke up from a bender and read the screenplay I had written the night before, RapeRoomba: The Roomba That Rapes People.

Pictured above is something they not only put in their promotional video (below), but also something they felt the need to linger on for fifteen very uncomfortable seconds.  And that inset pic is the banner graphic on the front page of their official website, just in case you still had any reservations about the creepiness factor here.  Seriously, creepy robot, STOP THAT.  Wait, get that spot down and to the left. Okay, now STOP THAT.

[Technabob]

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When not writing for Uproxx, Caleb likes to volunteer at the legless cat shelter and photoshop the Babadook into all of his family photos. He once resolved the question “To be or not to be?” through the clever use of General Semantics. Your mom thinks you could be more like him if you only applied yourself.

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