That Can Happen!? Woman’s Breast Implant Ruptures While Gaming.

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Entertainment Editor
06.25.13 6 Comments

Blue-footed boobies are the sfw way to intro this breast implant ruptures while gaming story

Chinese news site Xinhuanet reports a woman in Beijing suffered a ruptured breast implant after laying on her stomach in bed during a gaming session lasting longer than four hours. If commercials have taught us anything, it’s that you should talk to your doctor if you have a “gaming session” lasting longer than four hours.

Xiao Ai (a pseudonym) had recently got into an iOS app called Dragon Summon and was often staying up late to play the game. Earlier this month, she was in bed, playing the app for a long session, when she felt a pain in her chest. [Kotaku]

Hospital doctors reportedly told Xinhaunet that the implants purchased five years ago were of low quality, causing one to burst after four-plus hours of compression. At least they gave her a pseudonym before printing a statement from her doctors which basically says, “Her boob job was so bad, you guys. We had a pool going here on when they would explode and how. Zhang Wei guessed it would be ‘something involving dragons’ and we called him a fool, yet he was the closest and won the pool. Good thing we don’t have HIPAA laws here and we can talk to the press about this.”

[Blue-footed boobies via Tamara Bizjak / Shutterstock. We keep it classy.]

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When not writing for Uproxx, Caleb likes to volunteer at the legless cat shelter and photoshop the Babadook into all of his family photos. He once resolved the question “To be or not to be?” through the clever use of General Semantics. Your mom thinks you could be more like him if you only applied yourself.

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