All The Times Cardi B’s Internet Presence Was A Gift In Itself

01.08.18 2 weeks ago

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Listen, you don’t need me to tell you that Cardi B is an unstoppable force in hip-hop. She recently became one of three artists ever to have her first three songs on the Billboard Hot 100 in the top 10 simultaneously, sharing the honor with the Beatles and Ashanti. Her summertime smash “Bodak Yellow” still sits at No. 10, while her features on G-Eazy’s “No Limit” and Migos’ “Motorsport” have her in the No. 4 and No. 7 spots, respectively.

Cardi’s got bars, and she makes herself all the more lovable with her achingly funny comedic timing. One of Cardi’s earliest iconic moments was her viral proclamation of how a hoe never gets cold and in the past year, the Internet has been blessed with a deluge of gut-busting moments. Here’s some of my recent favs.

This succinct condemnation of her Twitter and Instagram hacker feels downright meditative.

Sooo fucking annoyed 😒😒😒😒fucking WEIRDOS -___-

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Cardi’s said her peace and it’s over. Also, there’s something undeniably catchy about the phrase “nerdy, geeky, virgin bitch.”

Her wisdom about haters

🗣🗣🗣

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Cardi possesses a natural hilarity that leaves everyone winded and has also been known to impart wisdom to the masses. Case in point: her October 2017 Instagram video demanding that people drop any feelings of jealousy in favor of motivation. “Don’t be a ‘Why her and not me?’ type of bitch,” she explains. “Be a ‘How can I get next to that bitch?’ type of bitch. Be a ‘Shit, if she could do it I could do it, too!’ type of bitch.” A hero!

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