10 hilarious tweets from comedian Josh Comers

If you asked me, I’d tell you that Josh Comers is something of a king of self-deprecating humor, but if you asked him, he’d probably say his self-deprecation skills are terrible, but only as a way to be even more self-deprecating. Let’s all got to therapy.

Josh is a super sharp stand-up who currently writes for ‘Conan.’ He tweets as @joshcomers — here are 10 of his funniest jokes:

10. Can’t believe this jerk in front of me is texting in a movie theater.

9. Where do babies come from? Mostly, NFL Players.

8.  What all those songs of heartbreak don’t tell you is how Taylor likes to be choked.

7. Just wrote “calculators” on a boob.

6. Time to catch some zzvxujd’s (I snore funny).

5. How loud do I have to sigh before someone asks me what’s wrong?

4. Deleted a tweet about having no regrets.

3. I’m sick of being the guy everyone comes to when they want the money I owe them.

2. I’ll pay extra for the hairdresser comfortable with silence.

1. I want to die at someone else”s funeral. Make it about me right to the very end.

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