I’m going on the record and saying that Kumail Nanjiani is one of the absolute greatest comedians we have working today — by which I mean I’m recording those words on vinyl and selling them to collectors in Portland who will buy just about anything if it looks cool.
Kumail does a bunch of great stuff, all the time. He hosts a video game-themed podcast called “The Indoor Kids” with his wife Emily V. Gordon, and his face is always plastered across our televisions on shows like “Franklin & Bash,” “Burning Love,” and “Portlandia.” Plus, he totally kills it on Twitter as @kumailn. Here are 10 of Kumail’s funniest tweets.
10. So we’re just gonna walk around pretending it’s not weird that one of our hands is just worse at everything?
9. The new Dungeons & Dragons movie starts with a lengthy email exchange of mostly grown men trying to figure out when they can all meet.
8. “1 2 3…I’m gonna guess a million.” – person who named the millipede
7. “It should just be about the music.” -Justin Bieber, wearing a leather v neck t shirt, drop crotch pants, gold chains & sunglasses indoors
6. Just told the Starbucks at the airport that my name was Ayatollah Bombface. Lol let’s see wha
5. The hipster aesthetic is the best thing to ever happen to ugly people.
4. Stark in the streets. Dothraki between the sheets. #me
3. The Pope hasn’t tweeted yet and already has half a million followers. Seems a good analogy for most religion.
2. According to my Nike FuelBand I just masturbated for 4 miles.
1. Idea: a hat store called “ALL CAPS” where the salespeople yell at you the entire time.