So, this happened. While testifying against Britney Spears, manager Sam Lufti revealed he and Courtney Love are working on a “possible motion picture or Broadway musical based on the Nirvana catalogue, based on her life and Kurt Cobain’s.” It’s not a huge leap of logic, as musicians ranging from Green Day to ABBA have all gotten their very own musicals. Still, given Cobain’s fears about selling out, this could be problematic at best, and we’re a little worried a musical about Kurt and Courtney will come across like “Sid and Nancy” with songs.
But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t plenty of other acts out there deserving of the Great White Way treatment. Or, if not deserving, maybe they’re car wrecks we wouldn’t mind seeing. In any case, some existing musicals could even be tweaked slightly to squeeze in a star or two, so development would be a snap! Here are a few suggestions. Producers, take notes!
My Fair Chemical Romance
It’s the story of a young man who learns how to dye his hair, wear make-up, let his inner goth fly free and occasionally wear band uniforms just because he wants to.
The King and Psy
Hey, I see a little resemblance to Elvis, don’t you? Besides, Psy really is the Elvis of South Korea at this point. And if this photo is any indication, he already has a sort of Vegas Elvis wardrobe going. And we can skip “The King and I” love story, of course.
How Axl Rose Stole Christmas
If he has any more plastic surgeries, Axl will start looking like the Grinch — and holding on to “Chinese Democracy” for over a decade before unveiling a pretty unremarkable product — well, our hearts shrank three sizes that day.
Okay, we know Babs only played the role in the movie version of “Hello, Dolly” (Carol Channing was Dolly on Broadway), but we think these two are sort of peas in a pod. Gaga’s definitely simpatico with Barbra Streisand’s wacky sense of fashion, and in profile (now that Gaga has brown hair), they even look a little alike.
Guys and Goo Goo Dolls
Okay, it may not be a hit, but these guys are definitely available.
How Axl Rose Stole Christmas
If he has any more plastic surgeries, he will start looking like the Grinch — and holding on to “Chinese Democracy” for over a decade before unceremoniously releasing a so-so album? That made our hearts shrink three sizes that day.
The Sound of Music
Can’t you just see Taylor Swift singing “Sixteen Going on Seventeen” just before she rips into Rolf for breaking her heart, then grabbing Maria’s guitar and belting out an anthem about his stupid clothes and his annoying text messages?
Okay, she’s way too old, but Tori Amos is a redhead — and we’d love to hear what she does with “It’s A Hard Knock Life.”
Rihanna isn’t a drag queen, but we’re sure she’d love the footwear in this musical based on the indie movie about a shoemaker who joins forces with a drag queen business partner to make custom shoes.
Britney and the Angry Inch
Yes, it’s been a long time since she shaved her head and beat a car with an umbrella, but we’ve seen her on “The X Factor” and she still seems a little pissed off. Maybe not had-a-bad-sex-change-operation pissed off, but angry nonetheless