For football fans, this year’s Super Bowl was a depressing snooze. For comedy fans, it provided a treasure trove of material for some of the funniest people on Twitter. Here’s a roundup of the best tweets (and one Facebook post) from tonight’s blowout. Admit it: you should’ve just stuck with the Puppy Bowl.
Denver could tie it up here with a rule change.
– Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) February 3, 2014
After Seahawks win, I hope Richard Sherman makes Malcolm X sound like Bambi & then Macklemore hops on his shoulders & they ascend to heaven.
– rob delaney (@robdelaney) February 2, 2014
Is it weird to say, I wish Bruno Mars was my son
– Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) February 3, 2014
No spoilers for Superbowl XLVIII. I’m only halfway through Superbowl XXII.
– Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) February 2, 2014
I wish GG Allin had lived long enough to license “I Kill Everything I Fuck” for a Doritos ad. #SuperBowl
– Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) February 3, 2014
It’s cool to see Bruno Mars perform a medley of all his songs I don’t know.
– Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) February 3, 2014
This game is so sad I feel like I read about in an open letter by Dylan Farrow. #SuperBowl
– Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) February 3, 2014
– Cristela Alonzo (@cristela9) February 3, 2014
My Super Bowl tradition? Watching the game at a Hampton Inn with a drifter.
– Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 1, 2014
I will only be excited about the Super Bowl halftime show when ZZ Top opens for ACDC who opens Van Halen who plays Eruption for 30 minutes.
– Scotty (@MarylandMudflap) February 2, 2014
– Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) February 2, 2014
I missed the beginning of the game. Just settling in. Who has scored the most hockey balls?
– Jon Wurster (@jonwurster) February 2, 2014
I’m at a Superbowl party with the Papa John’s guy and he is being a dick to my whole family and my kids
– Rob Huebel (@robhuebel) February 3, 2014
“Sell out”? As if Bob Dylan is even with it enough to realize he was in a car commercial.
– Eli Braden (@EliBraden) February 3, 2014
Weird that Crispin Glover was playing guitar for the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
– LBJohnson (@ladybirdj) February 3, 2014
I’m sure Beyoncé is kicking herself for not opening on a drum solo last year.
— Vanessa Ramos (@thatRamosgirl) February 3, 2014
Man the Broncos are going to be so pissed when they find out the Super Bowl is today.
– Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) February 3, 2014
Learning a lot about my self and the human existence from cars tonight.
– Nikki Glaser (@NikkiGlaser) February 3, 2014
Bruno Mars is the sex; Red Hot Chili Peppers are the STD.
– Nick Holmes (@narcissusholmes) February 3, 2014
You know what they say, Offense wins Super Bowls.
– RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 3, 2014
It”s so much more fun to watch FOX when it”s someone else being blitzed & sacked! #SuperBowl
– Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) February 3, 2014