For weeks now, fans have been pouring over ever inch of the first “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” trailer. After finally combing every frame, ringing the last drop of information and speculation from each second, and spilling tons of digital ink parsing what it all means, we are spent.
Which means it”s time to stoke the hype fires with **NEW INFORMATION!!** Lucasfilm has released the names of every important character featured in the teaser trailer. Entertainment Weekly was granted the honor of unveiling these spiffy collectible cards. But like with anything involving JJ Abrams, each tidbit of news opens another three lines of questioning.
After the jump, find out the names of John Boyega, Daisy Ridley and Oscar Isaac”s characters. Then get frustrated because we have a name for our Sith but no actor. Then realize Lucasfilm left out key parts of the character”s names. Then try to decide if the trading cards are color coded. Then wonder if the numbers mean more cards are to come. Then head to the comments and speculate like it”s your freaking job.