With “Daredevil” eschewing the traditional format of television by releasing the entire first season at once, recapping becomes a bit tricky. Binge-watch the entire series in one go and I risk spoiling everything and being stoned in the digital streets. But binge-watch too slowly and I become that person who discovered “Breaking Bad” in the last season.
Over the next couple of weeks, I”ll be giving my thoughts on Marvel”s “Daredevil” in all their stream-of-consciousness glory. It”s like “MST3K,” only without the robots and less funny.
Image Credit: Marvel Entertainment
#1. Flee for you life, Asian businessman!
#2. Businessman owns a desert eagle he can barely pick up, which means he skipped arm day.
#3. Um, excuse me? That should”ve kicked like a son of a bitch.
#4. Is that sword magic? Did it just cauterize the wound? That”s not a lightsaber. Shenanigans.
#5. Hollywood is giving me very high expectations as to the battle prowess of blind guys.
#6. Foggy wants to punch Daredevil. Foggy also wants to sometimes punch Matt. Win/win.
#7. Karen now has mace because she”s the most realistic portrayal of a ‘Regular Jane” with agency on television ever. This makes me happy for progress and sad it”s been so slow.
#8. Is that how people read Braille? By moving their hands in opposite directions over the same line?
#9. Distractions get you tazed, bro. Somehow cross-stitch that on a sampler.
#10. Matt”s mom isn”t dead? Where the hell is she? Probably hiding somewhere waiting to pop up like a plot point bogeyman.
#11. I see the obligatory old man mentor has arrived.
#12. Stick”s been gone 20 years but now he”s back to fix everything with patronization and secrets.
#13. This entire car scene between Urich and Karen is giving me an anxiety attack. Y”all gonna get murdered.
#14. Awwww, Matt Murdock has “Princess and the Pea” skin.
#15. DARKNESS. NO VISION. Stick is Old Man Batman.
#16. “The kind you don”t want in your world.” You mean the non-mystical world?
#17. Why does Jesus look like he”s doing his impression of the Fonz?
#18. Once again, Karen reacts like a normal person and puts that henchman on the ground.
#19. Foggy comes to the rescue but Karen didn”t really need it. She”s a damsel, she”s in distress, she was handling this. Have a nice day.
#20. But hey, always nice to see a minion take a baseball bat to the face.
#21. Good job Matt Murdock, you just let a demon magic child or something get away. Also, actual good job, Stick. At least ONE of you isn”t going to let magic Japanese demon children run loose in the city.
#22. Daredevil”s commitment to showing how much fighting winds all participants is admirable.
#23. Great, now Foggy is in on Karen and Urich”s project “Get Murdered By The Yakuza”
#24. Of course Stick kept the bracelet, you obtuse idiot. Use your grey matter. He left to protect you and/or keep himself from getting attached.
#25. Mystery man has some serious scars. My lack of Daredevil/Iron Fist knowledge is working against me here! Who is this?
“Shadows in the Glass”
Image Credit: Marvel Entertainment
#26. Fisk was having a nightmare, but “Rabbit in a Snowstorm” calmed him down. Interesting.
#27. It surprises me that Fisk is the kind of guy who cooks his own breakfast.
#28. It does not surprise me that he has a cartoon character”s closet with a thousand of the same outfit. Doug would be jealous.
#29. Kid Fisk has a little something on his face…and shirt. And soul.
#30. Well, let”s see. Fisk wears his dad”s cufflinks every day. So, he killed his dad? Abusive chlidhood? Did his mom send him away afterwards so he wouldn”t go to jail?
#31. Did Matt put cotton sheets on his bed after Stick fabric-shamed him? If not, that”s the worst quality silk I”ve ever seen.
#32. Karen is TERRIBLE at keeping secrets.
#33. I think it”s interesting that we only get subtitles when everyone involved in the conversation understands the language being spoken.
#34. Black Skies are rare but not a singularity. Guess they need one to open the door to wherever?
#35. Glasses doesn”t like the way the Japanese dude speak to his boss. He”s like a hover parent for supervillains.
#36. Why are we time-traveling to halcyon days of the 70s that never really existed?
#37. Damn, Fisk”s mom has bruises all over her arms. This is not gonna end well.
#38. Fisk and Vanessa want to go to Asia. What”s your end game, girlfriend to supervillains?
#39. Detective Blake”s partner seems really surprised that playing with gangsters will inevitably bite you in the ass.
#40. At least Fisk is a “honor among thieves” kind of villain and is willing to compensate Hoffman for murdering his friend instead of just blackmailing him into it with his kids” fingers.
#41. Matt Murdock”s real superpower is getting framed for murder.
#42. Um, I need a spin-off about this badass tailor to the rich and evil.
#43. Rookie move, Old Man Fisk. Training you son not to fear bullies is gonna get you killed, probably with that hammer.
#44. Hey there, creepy Asian box in Fisk”s dressing room. I bet you”re important later.
#45. Noticing a theme here. Human emotions are bad, will get you killed.
#46. Here we go. There”s the white wall that looks like the painting Fisk bought and the dad”s cufflinks…and the the spousal abuse. And the eventually murder.
#47. But we”re gonna draw it out for a minute because tension.
#48. Damn, Glasses played the trump card by getting Vanessa. That”s cold.
#49. Just keep kicking, just keep kicking.
#50. Momma Bear got badass real damn fast.
#51. Really, she cut him up on the living room floor? Those stains are never coming out.
#52. Tale as old as time. The son fears he”s becoming his father.
#53. In the rain, it becomes hilariously obvious that Murdock is wearing his sunglasses under his mask.
#54. Matt would bet his life that Fisk is the guy at the top? That”a a bad bet, my friend.
#55. Naked girlfriend trumps a rabbit in a snowstorm. Vanessa is gonna be the Yoko Ono of this little Mafia Club.
#56. I love how the news ticker says “Wilson Fisk Pledges to Aid Hell”s Kitchen” because 99.99% of the viewing audience”s response is going to be “Who?”
#57. Great Matt, now you have to replace your laptop.
“Speak of the Devil”
Image Credit: Marvel Entertainment
#58. Did the Hand finally show up?
#59. This is the first comic book looking henchmen we”ve seen.
#60. Man, the Catholic church is frugal. That”s the smallest latte I”ve ever seen.
#61. Gotta love a history-minded theologian.
#62. Priest saw an evil man and abandoned the idea of shades of grey for a black-and-white good vs. evil. Okay, I guess.
#63. I hope the media coins the term “Daredevil” soon because it”s physically hurting me when Karen and Ben call him “The Mask.”
#63. Oh, so Fisk didn”t kill Hoffman. He”s just missing. A NEW PLAYER HAS ENTERED THE FIELD.
#65. What does the Yakuza need with that specific block? Is that where the door will open? If I were a betting gal…
#66. The legal system is way more boring and frustrating than police procedurals led me to believe. Hollywood lies again!
#67. Wait, am I really watching a superhero series hinging on differing opinions about gentrification? And it”s interesting? What?
#68. Fisk is serious about keeping Vanessa safe. That”s more security than world leaders get. It must be love.
#69. Matt gets extra brownie points for not punching Fisk in the face and getting shot to death for his effort.
#70. Look priest. Either the world is black and white or it”s a moral quagmire where everyone thinks they”re the good guy. You can”t have your damnation and vengeance, too.
#71. Matt Murdock is DEFINITELY a lapsed Catholic. All that cynicism is layered on top of fear of eternal Hell.
#72. With all the leads off the map and Fisk in the dark as to where they are, someone is cleaning up the Kingpin”s mess. Guess the Yakuza REALLY want that city block.
#74. Good job, Scooby gang. Your high morals got that little old lady killed instead of rich.
#75. We now return to Matt Murdock getting his ass kicked, already in progress.
#76. You know, if you didn”t know Fisk was in bed with the Mafia…he”s kind of got a point about unsafe, crime-riddled tenements needing to be updated?
#77. What”s in the box, Matt? Is it Gywneth”s Paltrow”s head?
#78. No. It”s his dad”s old boxing stuff. Which means he touches his dad”s things as a ritual every time before he goes to suit up. Sweet. Creepy and sad, but sweet.
#79. Dude, be nicer to the druggie before you over-stimulate his heart and he dies. There”s no honor in beating up junkies. A child could do this.
#80. Stick would be so disappointed in you for walking into this CLEARLY OBVIOUS trap.
#81. I keep waiting for someone to say, “You know nothing, Matt Murdock.”
#82. Come on Fisk, you”re better than this. Don”t monologue.
#83. Fisk gets really upset when people mess up his suit. Those dragonscale magic threads aren”t cheap.
#84. How is Daredevil disappointing, Fisk? You were able to beat up a guy that is mostly dead from blood loss. That”s not a challenge.
#85. Welp, that”s the Hudson River. Murdock is gonna be dead from infection if the blood loss doesn”t get him first.
#86. Or not…
#87. Okay, first of all. How did he get out of the river and back to his apartment? Second of all, how is there not blood all over everything? Third of all, Matt doesn”t lock his back door? And fourth of all, he should be dead.
#88. We got almost through the whole season before the first complete shattering of suspension of disbelief. It was a pretty good run.