Here is a list of things ‘Jurassic World’ hates

06.16.15 2 years ago

“Jurassic World” doesn't just hate one group of people. It hates pretty much everything and everybody, an equal-opportunity hater. Here is a semi-complete list of things “Jurassic World” hates:

Southerners
Science
Women with kids
Women without kids
Organized women
Women who say no to the second date
Working women
Women who hate bugs
Bugs
Women who save the day
Dads
Divorce
The Friendzone
Children
Babies
Teenagers
Teenagers' girlfriends
The Military
Pacifists
Fashion
Commercialization
Small corporations
Large corporations
People on vacation
The Leisure Class
The 1%
The working class
British Assistants
Pretty much all assistants
Earnestness
Petting zoos
Trained animals
Goatees
Beards
People who wear glasses
People of color, since they can't seem to survive without a white person intervening
Fat men
Skinny men
Fanboys
Beta males
Some alpha males
Sisterhood
Dinosaurs
Lawyers
Guns, maybe?
Margaritaville
Nature
Political correctness (“You shouldn't say 'bitch.'”)
Air travel
Boat travel
Gyrosphere travel
The Human Race
“Parks & Recreation's” Andy
Funny Chris Pratt
Self-effacing Chris Pratt
Star-Lord
Disney
Sea World
Franchise films
The “Jurassic Park” franchise
“Jurassic Park”

Things “Jurassic World” loves:

Serious Chris Pratt
Motorcycle travel
Brand name car travel
Deus Ex Machina
Brotherhood
Frank Frazetta

Bryce Dallas Howard and the babes of Frank Frazetta paintings

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