If you dedicated three hours of your life to watching the finale of “The Bachelor” on Monday (March 1) night, you learned who the constants on the upcoming season of “Dancing with the Stars” will be.
If, however, you skipped the finale of “The Bachelor” on Monday night, that’s three hours you hopefully spent doing something infinitely more productive and yet you’re still going to get to learn the identities of the next batch of celebrity dancers.
The 11 selected dancers will begin their “Dancing with the Stars” run on Monday, March 22 and, in some cases, that date needs hurry up, because their fame is mighty current.
For one, remember the guy who just finished on “The Bachelor”? Well, Jake Pavelka’s going to do “Dancing with the Stars” next. Hurry, Jake. You may have an expiration date.
And remember Evan Lysacek, who won an Olympic figure skating medal two weeks ago? He’s doing “Dancing with the Stars” next. Lysacek probably has a longer shelf-life than Pavelka at least.
Also hoping to strike fame while the iron is hot are “Jon & Kate Plus Eight” mom Kate Gosselin and sportscaster/peeping victim Erin Andrews.
It’s unlikely that time will take anything away from legendary astronaut Buzz Aldrin, nor from “Baywatch” baby Pamela Anderson and “90210” bad girl Shannen Doherty. And no, we aren’t saying that Anderson and Doherty are either as famous or as important as Buzz Aldrin, just implying that their notoriety has proven to be sufficiently durable that they’re unlikely to be forgotten any time soon.
Filling the annual spot set seemingly set aside for fleet-footed gridiron stars is Chad Ochocinco, Bengals wide receiver, six-time Pro Bowler and former “Chad Johnson.”
Filling the annual spot set aside for a soap opera star whose popularity confuses non-daytime viewers is Aiden Turner, a veteran of ABC’s “All My Children.”
Filling the spot dedicated to clear ringers is singer Nicole Scherzinger, whose status as a Pussycat Doll means that she’s also essentially a professional dancer.
Rounding out the “Dancing with the Stars” gang is “Reno 911!” and “Clean House” star Niecy Nash.
“Dancing with the stars will continue to be judged by Len Goodman, Bruno Tonioli and Carrie Ann Inaba. Tom Bergeron will continue as host, though the identity of his new co-host, with Samantha Harris exiting, is subject to much speculation.