The holidays are almost here, and for many people, that means happy family gatherings with warm conversation and time well-spent together. For an equal number of people, that means finding something to watch so no one has to really talk to each other, and the best way to deflect things via movies is to find something everyone enjoys.
The worst way to do it is to throw on “Irreversible” and belly laugh all the way through.
I’m not saying you’d do that. Not you. You’re a decent person, not Max Cady from “Cape Fear,” and you would never intentionally make everyone in the family uncomfortable. You would never pick a film that would freak out your parents or your siblings or your kids or your spouse. You would never put something on that would stop conversation cold, replacing it with dense walls of silent judgment directed at you, just because you thought it was funny to freak everyone out.
But what about when you do it by mistake? I must have heard 20 different stories the year “Black Swan” came out about people taking their parents to see it and realizing mid-way through the lesbian sex scene that they had made a terrible miscalculation. This year, there were plenty of movies that that you shouldn’t watch with your family over the holidays, in theaters, on NetFlix, or Blu-ray or DVD or VOD, and we thought we’d give you the heads-up now, and we’ve also included films from the last few years that you might still be likely to put on.
Keep in mind… we’re not saying there’s anything inherently wrong with showing any of the things these movies show. Movies should provoke sometimes. They should challenge us. Many of the films we discuss here are part of the essential conversation about 2013 in film. We’re simply pointing out that you might not want to put mom and dad in the car so you can all go see that nice Josh Brolin in whatever “Oldboy” is, and we’re hopefully giving you the information to make an informed choice. This may involve spoilers, but we’ll try to tread lightly in the process.
So without further ado, here’s a holiday guide to 13 recent movies you should never, ever watch with your family…