The Lonely Island’s “The Wack Album” — their third set together — is a bit scattershot. Which makes it just like like the HitFix staff. But fart jokes, love of curly hair and Solange can and have formed the bonds required to overcome great distances (L.A. and Austin), and so we, Liana and Katie, bring you a track-by-track review of this “Wack” effort. Can the trio and guests like Justin Timberlake, Robyn and T-Pain keep the laughs going?
Liana: I will start off by saying that on the whole, musical comedy tends not to really be my cup of tea, but the intro is an example of why The Lonely Island is often an exception. Because it mocks pop music tropes instead of just being jokes set to music.
Katie: I think Lonely Island can be incredibly funny, but if I ever have to listen to a whole 20-track Lonely Island album straight through again, I’ll burn them all.
Katie: It is, after all, a lot of Yelling.
Liana: Absolutely. Their songs work best one at a time, and with video.
Katie: So just like most hip-hop albums, this has a needless intro. And like most hip-hop albums, it has an intro that I’ll never need to hear ever again.
Liana: Although perhaps that is the point? To do the things all hip-hop albums do especially if they’re bad.
Katie: I see the point. If I had this on CD (ha! CDs! Remember those?) I’d listen to it once and wish it’d delete itself off of there.
Liana: No idea what a CD is.
Katie: I did a Google Image search from them once.
Katie: As my own disclaimer for “Go Kindergarten,” I have a full-fledged Lady Crush on Robyn.
Liana: I saw her once and she stopped midway through a song to eat a banana, which was adorable, and perhaps why “Go Kindergarten” references potassium!
Katie: And did you catch what was perhaps a “Dancing on My Own” reference, with “So raise your glass, then break the glass / Then stomp your bare feet on the glass”
Katie: Stilettos and broken bottles! I’d definitely eat a banana made of glass for Robyn.
Liana: I wouldn’t eat one, but I’d wear one.
Katie: This song reminds me of songs like “On the floor” by J-Lo, where it’s like, every dance song demands so much of me, y’know?
Katie: GET ON THE FLOOR, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, LIANA
Liana: This is not a passive record, I do agree with that.
Katie: FUCK A HOUSE, WHY DON’T YOU.
Liana: I will not, thank you very much!
Liana: I am sort of boppin’ to the beat, however. It’s unbecoming.
Katie: That’s against HitFix company policy. Report to HR.
Katie: HR also warns us about “Hugs,” a song that mocks 50 Cent’s “In Da Club” a decade too late.
Liana: However, I would love a T-shirt with, “You can’t hold a rolling stone because it will crush you” on it.
Katie: I think 100 bro-dudes just started on a Cafe Press design of that, just now.
Liana: 50 Cent dropped Ayn Rand references too, right?
Katie: 50 Cent is a wealthy scholar. Just like Lonely Island, he deals in Hugs currency.
Katie: Ayn would have approved.
Liana: “Diaper Money” I do not like at all.
Katie: All I have written down is “I’m embarrassed.”
Liana: I feel like there are times with the Lonely Island where it’s impossible not to see things as a little racial, like three white guys mocking what is traditionally black music, and this song has that all over it.
Katie: There”s many black artists who won’t want to defend “black” music that defaults to the word “pussy,” objectification and its various pronunciations. Plus, LI are mocking a very distinct form of hip-hop on this one, not all of hip-hop.
Katie: Reminds me of Reggie Watts’ “fuck shit stack.” Words that have lost their meaning.
Liana: That’s fair. I think it’s a tricky line, and when it works, it works, but when it doesn’t… well, then it”s rough
Katie: which puts “Diaper Money” at a disadvantage out the gate.
Liana: And also it’s just an annoying song.
Katie: yes. we can both agree I’d like to end it after 20 seconds.
Liana: Do it… because, YOLO!
Katie: “YOLO” on the other hand, I still love.
Katie: Even though I’d like to throw Adam Levine like a discus. Like in the Olympics.
Liana: Into my arms? I will make out with him and not allow him to speak.
Liana: I do, however, feel like my aunt is like two weeks away from getting a “YOLO” tattoo.
Liana: Which is to say, this song gets a little less funny with each passing day.
Katie: You guys could get matching tattoos.
Katie: It’s sort of like when my dad started saying “winning.”
Liana: Your dad should meet my aunt!
Katie: Kendrick Lamar giving good financial advice to a beat my body understands? That I could support.
Liana: I also approve of staying away from kids because their hair is full of mad lice.
Katie: What you (and they say) is true.
Katie: “Spell It Out” should be on “Sesame Street.” Kind of.
Liana: Except it is oh-so filthy.
Liana: Like Oscar.
Katie: Sick flute sample.
Katie: SFS
Liana: “Spell it Out” and “Semicolon” are two of my favorite tracks, because it’s just some clever guys being really clever and stuff.
Katie: Semicolon has a one-time gag for the punchline, but I love them making fun of hashtag rap.
Katie: How you can base an entire song – née, entire career — off of hashtag rap.
Liana: Yes, I think it’s cute, but we are writer nerds, so it’s kind of made for us
Katie: Additionally, though, Solange. Just Solange.
Liana: Ooooh Solange.
Katie: Love her, sounds great. Solange is my ellipsis. Solange…
Liana: God, I know. Solange…….. They did kind of get all the coolest ladies to guest on this record.
Katie: OK, did “Where Brooklyn At” remind you of an Adam Sandler bit?
Liana: I kind of love it.
Liana: I know it’s so cheesy, but it made me laugh.
Katie: I’m glad it was :45
Liana: Oh, totally, could have been :15.
Katie: “QUUUEEEEENS” takes up about :10.
Katie: I’m depressed that I hated “You’ve Got the Look. Because if anybody’s gonna rock a song about walking around with “one solo titty” out, it’s Kristen Wiig.
Liana: I feel like it’s just super boring musically.
Katie: They were just like, “Cool, Jackman sings, right?”
Liana: Or maybe this is just the point in the album where it becomes TOO MUCH.
Katie: Especially back-to-back with “I’m a Hustler,” a 1:20 joke that should also be about :20.
Liana: Absolutely. Not into this one either.
Katie: Like, SEE IT’S FUNNY, HE GOT HIS HOOD PASS AND HE DOESN’T SOUND HOOD.
Liana: “Spring Break,” however, is a cultural gem.
Katie: “Spring Break” is musically funny and lyrically funny.
Liana: And the video is great. Love this one.
Katie: It’s a time capsule. I’ll play “Spring Break” for my (screwed up) kids one day and be like, See, it’s funny ’cause gay-baiting and masculine hetero-normativity were natural bedfellows. Now hand mommy her “juice.”
Katie: Also, “Crushin’ Pussy” is my new MySpace handle.
Liana: Ouch!
Katie: It reminds me of Lil Wayne. He has all sorts of ways he will crush, beat, tear, sandblast, dissolve and otherwise destroy your pussy. This is why, in part, I think Lil Wayne has lost his, erm, touch.
Liana: And they said romance was dead.
Katie: Flowers and Vaginal Reconstruction.
Katie: “I Run NY.” You used to live in New York. I”ll bet it”d be hard to run. Have you ever run New York?
Liana: I lived in Greenpoint for a few years. And also grew up in BK as a kid. But I have never even run in New York.
Katie: I love the idea behind this one, and even the beat is kinda cool
Liana: For me, it feels like The Onion problem: funny headline, but then you have to read the article. I like the premise but get it all in the first few lines.
Katie: Billie Joe’s got the Broadway bug still, which makes this “article” even harder. Come back, Billie.
Katie: Is “3-Way” still funny or is it just me?
Liana: I’m into it. And again, I am boppin’.
Katie: I’ll be sitting at a four-way stop sign sometimes and point at the signs and be like “1-2-3-(4)-way.”
Katie: JT will stop acting, he’ll direct a film or two, return to music full-time, put out a duets and a jazz covers album and then he’ll remember the days he made comedy songs and was really good at it. That’s when he and Samberg will return to their commercial destinies, which is this song exactly.
Liana: This, and having beautiful curly hair together.
Liana: “Meet the Crew” feels like filler to me.
Katie: Totally. Between it and “I Don’t Give a Honk,” I did other things with my time. I think I made a sandwich during “Honk” and I thought about my sandwich and ate my sandwich during “Crew.”
Liana: Although some of the lyrics are pretty killer.
Liana: I’m always down for a Rod Stewart joke.
[Delay]
Liana: Katie, it seems like you are thinking about your sandwich again right now.
Katie: No I’m not.
Katie: Yes, I am.
Katie: I like how T-Pain’s the one who asks the tough questions in “I F****d My Aunt.” It’s like stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, DEEP
Liana: Autotune incest is the best kind.
Katie: The most in-tune out-of-tune.
Liana: This song is so intensely stupid that I can’t help but adore it.
Katie: What’s the laughing equivalent of a pity f*ck?
Liana: Ask T-Pain.
Katie: T-Pity
Liana: T-Emotional Pain
Katie: I was kind of doing “Flashdance” feet with Cheerleader hands on “We Are a Crowd.”
Katie: I mean, sitting down though. I can’t be expected to exercise when I’m chained to my desk.
Liana: I feel like if it were playing in the other room, I’d be like, “Oh, that new Go Team song sounds fine.”
Katie: Or is it Gone Team, now?
Katie: See what I did there?
Liana: Oh man, that took a toll on my brain.
Katie: I’ll Spell It Out for you next time.
Katie: AGAIN. WITH THE SEEING WHAT I DID THERE.
Liana: What was IN that sandwich?
Katie: (stupid shit was in my sandwich. Explains my commentary.) Set’s talk about “Compliments.”
Liana: It’s too louuuuuud.
Katie: That’s trap for you. There’s no point to mixing and mastering it any lower than “obnoxious.” Too $hort knows this. Perfect guest on this.
Liana: Too $hort, Too £oud
Katie: whats the keyboard shortcut for £
Liana: I had to Google “British pound sign.”
Liana: See how committed I am?!
Katie: That’s really big of you.
Liana: I’m bowing.
Katie: You’re not wearing the chains?!?
Liana: I don’t get that at all.
Katie: Chained to you desk? The HitFix issued chains? it’s our brand identity.
Liana: I get it now!
Katie: Is “We Need Love” funny?
Liana: I feel like the world could live without “I’m not a guy who will rape you” as a joke.
Katie: Being a nice guy (who won’t rape you) is its own reward.
Liana: Why sully things by bragging about it?
Katie: I have erratic self-esteem.
Katie: Oh you mean “nice guys.” Them too
Liana: Ha!
Katie: Because I am a 10-year-old child, I laughed during much of “Perfect Saturday.”
Liana: Oh, totally. Ending on a fart joke is quite a statement, but I think it’s a good one.
Katie: it’s the right one.
Katie: Could’ve used some Solange…