When “Mistresses” started, I had looked away from my computer screen for about a second. “The Bachelorette” had just wrapped up with that disastrous “rap” video, and I couldn’t stand to watch the carnage after a certain point. But when I turned back, I momentarily wondered why my Slingbox was suddenly feeding me soft porn. After all, I sure as hell had no intention of paying extra for it.
But no, “Mistresses” actually kicked things off with semi-naked rutting around, just so we knew (if the title and the endless feed of naughty promos didn’t give it away) that this show would be largely about illicit sex. While all the women on the show have challenging jobs and lots of time to bond with friends, that doesn’t interfere with their ability to get it on.
Though we meet Savi (short for Savannah, played for Alyssa Milano) as she and her husband are trying to get pregnant, it isn’t long before she also does it on a desk with her fellow lawyer, Dominic (Jason George). Karen (Junjim Kim) has barely stuffed her dead client/illicit squeeze in the ground before his son is hitting on her. Joss (Jess Macallan) is Savi’s trampy sister, who gleefully bangs anything nearby and, next week, apparently gives lesbian sex a whirl. It seems this women can’t cross the street without some sexual complication tripping them up.
Even sad, boring widow April (Rochelle Aytes) can’t get away from the stink of hormones in the air. She discovers in the first episode that her saintlike husband wasn’t so saintlike and somehow created a child with HIS mistress (See? She fits on this show, too!).
While there’s plenty going on, it’s easy to keep track of it all because it’s so thoroughly predictable. The moment the son of Karen’s boyfriend shows up, desperate to know who was banging his dad (her), we’re pretty sure he’s going to fall for her. Instead of Savi telling Dominic to stop sexually harassing her (which would be entirely valid), she falls into a desperate embrace with him, a move so obvious it’s surprising it takes an entire episode to play out.
Still, it’s all silly, soapy fun. Clothes are torn off, there’s lots of moaning, and it certainly won’t demand much of you at the end of your day. Is it smart? No. But then, who wants to think too much about a show focused on screwing around? Relax, pour a drink, and be glad you’re not paying to watch.
Did you watch “Mistresses”?