‘American Horror Story: Coven’ recap: Will Queenie be loyal?

I just don’t get Zoe. One week, she oozes puppy-eyed empathy and love-kissy snuggles. The next, she’s all about the killing and the zombie sex. Truth is, Killer Zoe is much more fun, don’t you think?

Zoe will cut a bitch, people: Remember when Zoe just wanted to hug it out with poor, broken Kyle all those moons ago? Yeah, that’s a distant memory, isn’t it? At the beginning of this episode, she’s trying to kill him with a tiny gun and at the end she’s having a three-way with Kyle and Madison, and I’m not sure which is more potentially damaging to our blond, pretty boy Frankenstein. I’m glad we had a moment in this episode to flashback to the “real” Kyle. Even if he was a dork who liked Toto, he was at least more human than monster. This made Madison and Zoe treating him as their personal sex toy marginally more palatable, as we could believe he was a consenting adult and not a frat boy-sized hunk of man meat. 

Of course, Zoe’s not very good at the victimizing thing, at least not at first. When Kyle snatches her gun away and aims it at his head, she instinctively wrests it away instead of figuring, huh, he’s going to do the dirty work for me. She doesn’t have any problem with killing Spalding later, but I guess it’s easier when the guy isn’t a dreamboat.

Queenie and Madame LaLaurie are BFFs, sort of: At first, it seems like this weirdly cute odd couple might be forever bonded by cruising through fast food drive-thrus in the middle of the night and trading insults over cheesy tots. Alas, it’s not to be. Madame LaLaurie unwittingly fertilizes Queenie’s seed of doubt about her coven sisters and almost shoves her into Marie Laveau’s arms. Still, I was a little surprised when Queenie not only handed over Madame LaLaurie like a prize ham by enthusiastically took the first cut. This may be in the understated way Gabourey Sadibe plays the role and it may be the usual zig-zagging of character development on this show, but I saw almost no internal struggle in Queenie. It made her decision more surprising, yes, but yet again, Queenie seems less like a real character than a plot driver.

Madison the Millenial: I’m enjoying Post-Death Madison quite a bit more than I expected to, possibly because she’s still consistently disaffected but this time has a reason for the mood. At first I thought her connection to Kyle was a sweet, emotional bonding, but it makes much more sense that she’s just out for the sex. She is a Millenial, after all. On a side note, as goofy and on-the-nose as the little speech about Millenial pain was, I’ll let it skate. Yes, I think the writing staff read an article about Milllenial agony and thought, wow, this is such a great parallel for her undead character! Let’s beat viewers over the head with it so they think we’re all smart and stuff! Hey, if it makes them happy, so be it. 

Delia tattles on Mom: We haven’t seen much of Delia since her brutal blinding, but I’m looking forward to her story being pushed to the front. Sarah Paulson brings a starchy nerve to the character, and I’m expecting one hell of a face-off between her and Hank. He may have the big guns, but she has the bigger attitude, and her arc from a gentle but prim little witch to a ball buster is one of the nicer developments we’ve seen this season. That she has no problem informing Zoe they need to kill Fiona suggests to me that the qualities that made Delia a gentle leader will make her a very proficient killer.

Fiona and the Axeman: I’m so sad knowing that Jessica Lange is leaving “American Horror Story” after next season. While there’s a plethora of great talent on the show this season, Lange is a great talent who gets all the best material — it’s as if the writers expend all their creative energy on fleshing out Fiona and, exhausted, hand out whatever dribs and drabs they can to the rest of the characters. That the Axeman’s fixation on Fiona has blossomed from adoring father-wannabe to silent stalker is a special kind of creepy. It’s richly rewarding that Fiona seems both flattered and unnerved by his attention, leaning in for a kiss (and more) despite herself, which is a perfect reaction for a character whose vanity is suffering. I can’t wait to see where this leads — especially once Zoe gets her little gun and her Witchcraft for Dummies book and tries to kick some ass. I’m sure she’ll have help — but man, she’s going to need it.

What do you think is next for Fiona and the Axeman? Were you surprised Zoe killed Spalding? What do you think Marie Laveau is going to do with Madame LaLaurie? 

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