Analysis of Chris Brown’s assault charge verdict

06.22.09 8 years ago

AP Photo/Lori Shepler

So what does it mean that Chris Brown has copped a plea in his felony assault case? It means that he gets to go on with his career almost as if nothing ever happened. Unlike the Dixie Chicks, who have never really recovered for disagreeing with the president, we’re betting that Brown will totally recover from this “unfortunate incident.”  Sure, the next single may take a bit of a dip, but we’re proven remarkably forgiving towards stars who go astray.

As far as we can tell, there’s no jail time, there’s not even mandatory anger management classes. According to the AP story, Brown will have five years of supervised probation and six months of community labor.

If we were the judge, we’d make sure the community labor were in a battered woman’s shelter and that Brown were forced to see every day of the six months what domestic violence does to a woman-and her family-both physically and mentally.

We’ll probably never hear the true story on this one.  Rihanna was reportedly set to testify, but now she’ll never have to tell her side of the story, which may come as a relief since she and Brown had been spotted together since the alleged February assault. Of course, we’re sure both sides are already fielding calls from “Dateline,” “20/20” and other “reputable” news organizations, all of whom are eager to let each side talk.

Even before the trial, Brown seemed to not have a care in the world… and why should he? Other than Phil Spector, Los Angeles courts seem incapable of finding a celebrity guilty of anything other than drunk driving. Of course, by accepting the plea, we’ll never know how this would have gone down in court. Brown has shown his remorse by going jet skiing and attending Lakers games, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. And guess what? Given today’s results, he didn’t.  

UPDATED: We’re now hearing that as part of the agreement, Brown must stay 50 yards from Rihanna for the entire five years of the probation. Plus, Entertainment Weekly and a number of other outlets are reporting that the terms of his deal also include domestic violence counseling.

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