I am already sick of hearing the announcer saying 3 a.m. That’s all.
Anyway, most of this episode is dedicated to Amanda acting smug, Amanda whining to McCrae, and Amanda gloating over how well she’s running the house. I’m not sure why everyone is so happy to let one half of a showmance dictate every move on the show, given that the other players might have a shot at making a final two deal with anyone else, but I guess Amanda’s bullying persona has somehow clicked with the rest of the players. I’m wondering if she’s worn down the hamsters with her throaty smoker’s voice yelling or if they’re so tired of her they just want to give up. I will say McCrae has the glassy-eyed stare of a man who’s seen too much.
Amanda says she has had a hand in everyone’s ouster thus far — and she hopes to have a hand in every other eviction. Then, she smirks. It is so hard for me to remember that Amanda seemed like an upbeat, wry observer of silly hamster behavior. I once could not understand how Amanda was voted on the block not once but twice by America. Oh, America, I never should have doubted you — CBS clearly edited Amanda kindly, at least for a while.
Anyway, back to the show. Aaryn isn’t 100 percent thrilled to be HoH, as she’s the one who’s expected to get blood on her hands whenever there’s a big move to be made. Funny, I think Aaryn should just be happy she’s still on the show.
But Aaryn should at least be happy her win has sent Amanda into a spiral of self-pity. She feels she doesn’t do anything well under pressure, and she’s just so darn mad at herself for not winning HoH. Darn it! McCrae angrily informs Amanda he’s not going to throw any more competitions, so, if there was any doubt that McCrae tries to hand the HoH to Amanda, there you go. Amanda cries. I know I suck! she whines, pretending to cry. Oddly enough, I never see a tear or mascara smear, so clearly she’s putting on a show for her poor boyfriend/in-house fiance/victim. I’m not sure why Amanda thinks this is necessary, as I’m pretty sure McCrae just tunes her out these days. He looks more haggard and depressed every week. It’s a sad day when he has to wonder if he might have had a better showmance with Jessie.
McCrae tries to convince himself he can trust Aaryn. I think McCrae should ask himself if he should trust Amanda. Magic eight ball say no, if you ask me.
Still, Amanda needs a Moment. She finds a trash can to cry behind in the kitchen. Meanwhile, Gina Marie tells Spencer that Amanda is going to ruin McCrae’s life. Spencer could not agree more. Me, too! I suspect McCrae will dump Amanda faster than a dirty diaper once he leaves the house, but the trick will be restraining himself from strangling her before they reach the final two.
Elissa is worried that Aaryn will put her on the block. Helen tells Elissa to talk to Aaryn, which Elissa reacts to as if Helen suggested she eat live bait. Since Elissa doesn’t talk to Aaryn, Helen does. She tells Aaryn she’s a bright, humble, amazing girl who’s playing an excellent game. Aaryn’s face just lights up. She loves Helen! Does she love Helen enough to defy Amanda? Probably not.
McCrae tries to comfort Amanda, who is no longer behind a trash can. Amanda declares that it’s time for Aaryn to put Helen and Elissa on the block so that Helen can go home.
The power monster that is McCranda corners Aaryn to make a case against Helen and Elissa. Aaryn points out that it will be pretty obvious she’s in an alliance with them, as she’d rather put up Spencer and Elissa. Amanda doesn’t care what she wants!. She tells Andy that Aaryn is going to out up Helen and Elissa, as instructed. Andy thinks that’s swell. Aaryn does not look happy that, as the HoH, she has no say in what’s happening.
If Aaryn really wanted to make a big move, I’d suggest putting Amanda and McCrae up on the block. Just a thought! I think there is way too much attachment to this 3 a.m. moniker, really.
But wait! It’s not just an alliance; these guys are SUPERHEROES! Amanda is the Mastermind, Andy’s the Agent, Aaryn is the Beast, and McCrae is the Enforcer. What? Oh, McCrae’s the enforcer because everyone trusts him, which he prefers to being called Little Girl, which might make more sense.
Time to see Aaryn’s HoH room. Is Clownie back? Alas, Clownie is not. Everyone jumps around and tries to act excited about pictures of Aaryn as a kid with goats. Oh my gosh, we got mud masks! Amanda makes no attempt to hide her envy, which is odd. It’s not even a way to throw off everyone else from seeing her alliance with Aaryn, I think. She’s truly pissed off and jealous. Yes, Amanda just gets better every week!
Helen and Elissa have a private conversation, probably while everyone else is busy coming up with superpowers and which color of mask and cape they want. Elissa wants to go home to see her husband. Helen tells her in her rah-rah way that she can’t give up. But Elissa doesn’t see much of a point in talking to Aaryn, since she hates herm plus Elissa won’t be there for her son’s first day of third grade if she sticks around. Helen’s dad is going through chemo! So there!
Elissa says she won’t go into the jury house if she’s evicted — she’ll just go home. Is that actually an option? Helen thinks that’s pretty crappy, because if she makes it to the end, Elissa won’t be there to vote for her. This is, admittedly, pretty crappy of Elissa.
Helen goes into a corner and cries. She feels that Elissa is willing to leave her in battle to die. It hurts her heart! I think Helen’s just tired from eating slop and trying to sleep in an airplane seat, honestly.
Helen goes into the HoH room and cries some more. Gina Marie and Andy don’t want her to leave. “I can’t save her anymore!” she sobs, which might be her way of throwing Elissa under the bus or might be sincere. Hard to know. Everyone tells Helen that Elissa is a jerk. Amanda and McCrae roll their eyes. Like you’re making it to the final two, Helen, they say with their eyebrows.
Amanda sneers. Elissa’s not the target! Helen is, silly girl! After seeing the “Big Brother” racism super cut (which included plenty of Amanda’s commentary), I really want Amanda to choke on one of her cigarettes.
Time for the Have or Have Not competition! Gina Marie is pissed to find herself on Amanda’s team. Not because Amanda is a raging bitch, but because she doesn’t try to win, seemingly, anything.
The players are split into two teams — Green (Amanda, Elissa, Helen and Gina Marie) and Orange (Andy, Spencer, McCrae and Aaryn). One at a time, each team must go into a big, black box to search around in the dark for a key.
Green team is first. Goop lands on their heads. They hit buttons and stuff poofs out. Helen finds vats of goo, spaghetti and pie filling. Everyone’s going right past the stupid key, which is right next to the vat of goo. Finally, Gina Marie finds the key.
Amanda, by the way, contributes F-all nothing.
Next, the orange team. The goo on the ground is ripping out Andy’s arm and leg hair! Spencer finds the key really, really quickly. But the trick is getting out.
Pretty sure who won this one.
Green Team: 7:21
Orange Team: 3:41
Gina Marie is pissed. She worked HARD! She hates slop! Helen cheers for the winners, but she’s worried Elissa being a have not will make her even more of a mess. Helen, worry about yourself. You in trouble, girl!
A moment of bonding. Helen tells Gina Marie about her North Korean dad. Gina Marie finds her background so interesting! Helen hopes that sharing with Gina Marie will perhaps enlighten her. And make her less tempted to make dumb racist jokes about Asian people. Maybe.
Elissa finally, finally talks to Aaryn. Elissa somehow sucks it up long enough to say Elissa is a lovely
girl, and then whines about not having a yoga mat. Aaryn assures her that, if she does go up, she’s not the target. Aaryn is surprisingly good at feigning interest.
Helen asks Aaryn if she can talk to her privately. Helen assures Aaryn she’ll stay true to her. Aaryn thinks Helen is one of the most amazing people she’s ever met, but it still might be a good week to send her home. Yeah, I think it would be a better week to send Amanda home, but that’s clearly not going to happen.
Gina Marie is safe.
Spencer is safe.
Amanda is safe.
McCrae is safe.
Andy is safe.
That means Amanda got her way, Aaryn bought into the stupid 3 a.m. nonsense. Aaryn announces that she’s trying to break up this “power couple” out of allegiance to her “power couple.” So… that’s a choice.
Spencer is so thrilled that Aaryn is on Big Move Express! Elissa hates being on the block with Helen! She wanted to make it to the end with her! Helen actually trusts Aaryn, but she’ll work hard to get off the block. She’d better — though I think the producers are counting on Helen being kicked out, the “twist” bringing her back in, and the game continuing with two women trying to control the house — Amanda and Helen. But then, you never know. This is “Big Brother,” after all.
Do you think Helen is going to go? Do you think Aaryn is making a mistake or a Big Move? Do you think McCrae is wishing he’d never gotten into a showmance at this point?