‘Big Brother’ recap: Pandora’s Box is back and Frank is on the warpath

Wow, tensions are high at the Big Brother house. Lots of yelling, most of it from Frank. Without Boogie around to be his creepy, Burgess Meredith-esque blankie, it seems Frank is a lot more comfortable ripping into the other hamsters. Of course, he has no reason not to do so. Though the other hamsters cower in fear when he raises his voice, he knows he’s only hanging on by a thread — and when he can’t win POV or HOH at a critical time, the seemingly meek rodents will come after him with kitchen cutlery and spatulas, desperately trying to pancake-flip him out of the house. 

We kick things off by rewinding a bit and rehashing the exits of Boogie and Ashley. Frank expected Boogie to go, but Ashley’s exit just minutes later really sticks in his craw, and he lets Ian know how he feels. Even though Ian is still HOH, Frank doesn’t care. He knows Ian backstabbed him twice, and the two of them rush through the house, Ian on tippy-toes as Frank stomps after him. Following close behind is Britney, who is weeping at the thought Ian’s feelings might be hurt. I think Ian better be a big boy all on his own if he has the brass ones to gun for the only ally Frank had left in the house — Ashley. Although, I will say she was less of a useful ally than a make-out buddy. 

Still, Frank’s words leave a mark, and Ian has to tiptoe around (seriously, someone needs to get him some heavy shoes or something) and moan to Dan that he’s gonna burn in hell! Dan assures him he likes him so much he’d set him up with his sister, which makes me wonder if Dan’s sister has a preference for teensy tiny geeks. 

Once Frank stops yelling, he starts strategizing, which is really what he needs to be doing. He pulls Shane and Danielle aside. Shane starts blithering about Ian being a lose cannon, but Frank, not being entirely stupid, ignores him. If Frank wins HOH, he wants to put up Dan and Joe — that is, unless Shane goes against him. And if that’s the case, he’ll nominate him and Britney. Danielle starts crying. She can’t survive if Dan goes home! He’s her coach! Okay, used to be, but he’s her warm blanky/gentle Yoda and she can’t accept the idea he might go home! She sobs to Frank that she can’t vote against Dan, she can’t! Frank nods and understands, then declares her a baby doll in his book. While she may be a baby doll, I will note Frank does not say she’s safe at any time in this whole sobby, soggy moment. 

Shane and Britney talk. They know they have to make a deal with Frank, which means they’ll soon have deals with everyone left in the house except, I think, Joe and Jenn. I think we’re going to see the fragmenting of the Quack Pack any minute now. 

Frank strikes the deal with Britney to keep her and Shane off the block, and Frank is hopeful she won’t stab him in the back. Given how many times Frank has been stabbed in the back, I’m not sure he has any unstabbed real estate back there. 

Time for the HOH competition! Considering it’s basically everyone in the house against Frank, Dan thinks one of the Quack Pack deserves to go home if they can’t beat him. Oh, Dan, that member of the Quack Pack may be you. 

And yes, as if by magic, Dan gets the lowest score in the qualifying round. The game is basically a variation of the old guide the ball to the hole in the wooden board thing, and it’s nice to see “Big Brother” is the one show on the air bringing back carnival games of the 1900s. Okay, “Big Brother” and maybe “Downtown Abbey.” But the thing about this game is that practice makes perfect. And when Frank eliminates Dan, then has to eliminate everyone else playing, what he thinks is a disadvantage is actually a huge advantage. He’s playing for the third and fourth and fifth times (etc.)– while everyone he goes up against is playing for the second time. 

So, after Frank beats Dan, he beats Jenn, then Britney, then Danielle, then Joe and finally he’s the winner! Frank not only has nine lives, he has super powers. Guy’s getting his own superhero comic any day now. 

With Frank as HOH, Dan knows he’s going up on the block. Britney is sick of Frank constantly winning and thinks everyone should just wait inside and eat pizza while he competes by himself, as it would save them all some time. 

Frank’s first order of business as HOH is to choose a Have Not for the week. And it is… Dan. In two seasons of “Big Brother,” Dan has never before been a Have Not. Well, hope he enjoys his induction into slop.

While Ian is terrified that Frank may gun for him, Frank has bigger fish to fry. He tells Britney he’s decided to put up Dan and, yes, Babydoll Danielle. Britney’s fine with it. She’s like to see Dan go home, after all. Dan’s her biggest threat! I suspect Britney is saying anything she needs to say to win Frank’s trust, and it works. Frank decides that he trusts Britney more than anyone else in the house. Of course, that’s not saying much. 

Frank finds Pandora’s Box, and must decide whether he’ll take a chance to win some money or take the risk of the box ruining his chance of getting Dan out. The good news is that Frank wins over $3,000. The bad news? The Box allows the hamsters downstairs to win a chance for a second veto — which involves finding coins to put into the mystery ball machine from last week’s episode. The coins are hidden inside more plastic balls, which drop from the sky and bounce around the backyard, and which also have a magical effect on Dan. He is instantly turned into a massive tool, pushing people aside and freaking out. Even Danielle is appalled at his jerky behavior, and if Danielle isn’t happy with Dan, that’s saying something. 

Finally, Ian determines that waiting to grab the golden ball means other people will have moved it closer to the drop, which turns out to be a good strategy. Ian wins the power of veto, and he is a very happy man. 

Realizing that Ian could use the second power of veto on Dan, he talks to Ian and Britney. Frank wants him to promise he won’t do it, but Ian doesn’t want to influence Frank’s decision making process. Frank looks like he’s ready to pummel Ian, and I can’t blame him. Ian knocked his flirtmance out of the house a few hours earlier, and he’s suddenly playing coy? Britney suggests that Frank tell Ian he’ll put her up if he uses the veto to save Dan, and that has the effect Frank is hoping for. Ian isn’t willing to take that chance. 

Finally, it’s time for Frank to make his nominations. 

Jenn is safe.

Ian is safe.

Joe is safe.

Britney is safe.

Shane is safe.

Dan and Danielle are up. Frank dedicates the nominations to Boogie and Ashley, which is a little weird, as this isn’t the Oscars or anything, but if it makes him happy, so be it. Frank tells Dan he needs to get him out and assures Danielle she’s  a victim of circumstance. At least he doesn’t tell her she’s a baby doll. Danielle is tearful. She never wants to play the game without Dan! She can’t campaign against him! Danielle just needs to calm down. Doesn’t she remember that Dan was ready to strangle his own dog to win the second POV?

Though I’m not entirely convinced Britney hasn’t hopped over to the Frank side, she’s hoping that if she or another member of the Quack Pack wins the POV, the two POVs can be used to save both Dan and Danielle. I think this is hugely optimistic, but it will help her rationalize her alliance hopping later. 

Ian says he doesn’t want to use his veto, but a lot can change. Dan has one last trick in the game — Ian’s veto. And, of course, there is that extra veto coming down the pipeline. I can’t begin to predict what’s going to happen next week, really. But props to Frank for not only staying in the game, but actually getting back into a position of control. Though controlling these hamsters is a dicey proposition at best. 

Do you think the two POVs will save Dan and Danielle? Who do you think is going home? Do you think Frank can trust anyone?

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