Holy crap — did they actually put up a disclaimer before the show started? “Just FYI, we at CBS aren’t racist, homophobic pigs, even though we cast people who are for our TV show! Sorry!” Maybe Aaryn goes on yet another tear, or maybe the nasty comments of the other racist/homophobic hamsters are included in this episode. Really, they could create a voting block. It’s what, five hamsters who’ve said utterly disgusting things? While I’m glad CBS is no longer ignoring the issue in the primetime show (it would be hard to do at this point), it does make this show a lot less fun than it’s been in previous seasons.
But let’s move on. Although “Big Brother” is housing scumbags on the CBS lot, I still regret having lost faith in the show. It really seemed that the Moving Company was on a path of total domination, so can you blame me? Even though the girls in the house had started to catch on, offing Nick required breaking that secret alliance. It was certainly too strong (until it wasn’t), right? But I repent, “Big Brother.” I will forevermore trust Julie Chen when she says I must expect the unexpected. Well, until “the unexpected” is a new way to splatter paint and goo on the hamsters.
While I wasn’t surprised to see McCrae switch sides, I was a little shocked to see Spencer betray his secret alliance. But then, even Nick saw that clearly right after he walked out of the house. I’m hoping the prime time show puts a little more focus on Spencer going forward, as he made a powerful move in betraying Nick — and I’m pretty sure the rest of the Moving Company will sniff him (and McCrae) out.
Let’s move on to the episode, which unfortunately made the case for that disclaimer at the top of the show.
GinaMarie cried like a baby: Given that Nick didn’t seem to actually like GinaMarie, her ridiculous, toddler-like sobbing is absolutely laughable. That she sobs into the shorts Nick left behind and then BLOWS HER NOSE into them? Well, he’d be so lucky to have such a swell girl, wouldn’t he? Oh, and the posturing and ridiculous smack talking in the kitchen? Someone slip her some Xanax or something. Better yet, get her out. When Aaryn has to tell you to pull yourself together, you know you’re (as Amanda says) bat bleep crazy.
Helen is so tickled to be HOH!: I’m thrilled, too. I’ll admit my prejudice — I would love to see her win.
McCrae’s hair: Anyone notice how much better McCrae’s hair looks since Amanda started cuddling with him? I suspect she introduced him to product, don’t you? Good deed, Amanda.
The Moving Company is dead: We learn a little more about how that 7-4 split happened that lead to Nick’s exit. As Spencer explains, the Moving Company is effectively over, and then we see him talking to Helen before the vote. She promises to take him to the end, and as he then points out to Howard, Jeremy is going to blow it for all of them. Howard, as we know, did not vote to evict Nick, and this will come back to haunt him very soon even as he says he was just trying to create some “mystery” by voting for Elissa. Uh-huh, right.
The cool kids act like brats: It begins with Aaryn, Kaitlin and GinaMarie (and to a lesser extent, Jeremy) hazing poor Jessie. I will give Jessie credit for maintaining her calm and standing by the idea that she switched sides because, hello, the other side of the house was nicer to her. The Mom Squad knows a little something about swallowing their bitterness in the service of the greater good, I think. So, what do the cool kids do? They call Jessie a “crazy, slutty bitch” and Aaryn flips over Candice’s mattress and throws her pillows (and it seems, her clothes) on the floor. The other mean hamsters hop onto Jessie’s bed and threaten to sleep there. Are these the same people who keep calling the other hamsters in the house immature? This is mind boggling.
This silliness escalates until even Kaitlin realizes they’re acting like high school kids (although she now finds herself, gasp, at the uncool kids’ table!) and GinaMarie gets into a screaming match with Candice. I do find it amusing that Kaitlin and Aaryn assume that Howard screwed them over — probably because he’s African-American. But back to that battle between Candice and GinaMarie. Howard comes in and, unable to stop the fight, physically picks up poor Candice and drags her into the Have Not room.
It’s there that he tells her that all he needs is an excuse to defend Candice and Helen, because they all face the same racism — but he needs Candice to not let things escalate. If it goes too far, he’ll deliver a beatdown he won’t be able to control and he’ll get sent home. Candice is pissed (she was called Shaneequa and mentions the black/white fish matter), but given how powerless she feels, it’s no surprise she starts crying. Howard’s face as he holds Candice is truly heartbreaking. “That’s my mom crying, that’s my sister crying,” he says.
I guess there’s the hope that this season of “Big Brother” will be a learning moment for someone. It certainly isn’t turning out to be that for Aaryn, unfortunately. Even when Candice somehow finds it in her heart to comfort GinaMarie (who is STILL CRYING over Nick), Aaryn decides to “apologize” to her by telling her she’s not racist and nothing she said is racist. Amazingly, Candice doesn’t laugh but pretends to accept this apology and offer one of her own. I hadn’t felt Candice was much of a competitor, but if she can do this, she’s got game.
Amanda is just as awesome as ever: During the heated knock-down, drag-out battle in which the cool kids are attacking Jessie, Amanda wanders in. Despite everyone trying to scream over her, she points out all the mean girls talk smack about one another — and Aaryn’s a racist. Which, of course, Aaryn denies. Still, Amanda walks out of this bitchfest with her head held high, swirling red wine in her glass. She’s just as unflappable when McCrae tells her about the Moving Company. She knows the important part is that he picked her side — so what if he kept an increasingly useless secret?
Jeremy, as annoying as he is, still has a little bit of game: At first, Jeremy stomps around the house looking for someone to kill. Then, he collects himself. He manages to applaud Elissa’s game play and congratulate Helen on her win. Later, when he talks to Helen, he tells her all about the Moving Company and adds that he wouldn’t blink if she put Kaitlin on the block. I think that actually gives Helen pause, because it says to her that any alliance he makes is pretty worthless. I won’t cry when “the Cherokee Wonder” whose “chin is too pretty to hang low” goes home.
Man, this is a gross Have Not competition: The game involves tossing spoilt milk into buckets (which involves dousing all the hamsters in stinky stuff) until a container is full of the crap.
Since Howard is on a team with Kaitlin, GinaMarie and Aaryn, he actively tries to throw the competition. Yes, he’ll be a Have Not, but forcing these witches into the Have Not room would be so worth it! Unfortunately, McCrae is so incompetent that Howard’s team still comes in second. That means McCrae, Judd, Jessie and Amanda are have nots — and the mean girls gloat that this is “karma.” Really? Really? If karma was truly in effect, Aaryn would have spontaneously combusted.
Howard is dishonest: This just makes me sad. Since Jeremy confirmed the existence of the all-boy alliance, Helen needs to have a heart to heart with Howard. She tells him she’ll forgive him if he just tells the truth — and he admits he voted to send Elissa home. Helen cries. She trusted him! He promises not to lie again — and then, when she asks him about the Moving Company, he says it never existed. Oh, Howard!
Time for the nominations ceremony! Elissa looks so happy!
The first key is… Elissa.
The second key is… Andy.
The third key is… Candice.
The fourth key is… McCrae.
The fifth key is… Amanda.
The sixth key is… GinaMarie.
The seventh key is… Judd.
The eighth key is… Jessie.
The ninth key is… Howard.
The tenth key is… Spencer.
The eleventh key is… Jeremy.
That means Aaryn and Kaitlin are on the block.
Kaitlin realizes she picked the wrong alliance with Aaryn, who isn’t humbled by being nominated — she isn’t willing to kiss anyone’s butt! Jeremy is okay with Kaitlin being on the bottom. Of course he is.
Still, Helen says she’s hoping to take out a bigger target. Interesting! Can’t wait for Wednesday! Do you think Elissa will still be MVP, or can that honor finally move on to someone else?