Let’s see. What’s happened lately in the Big Brother house? Um, Willie betrayed Frank, Britney went all kinds of paranoid, Kara went home, Frank”s became the new HOH, the Coaches’ Competition promises all kinds of crazy — oh my goodness, I am just breathless. Those hamsters seem to just be flopped on couches all day, but really, a lot is going on. Once it’s been edited down, of course. This week promises even more drama, and we get the first violent outburst of the season. Whoot?
But before we can leap ahead to the actual fisticuffs, we must review Kara’s elimination. No one seems overly distraught about her exit. Willie is just sad that Frank”s still in the game, even though, hello, that’s kind of his fault. Janelle is glad that Kara’s gone, because she knows Frank and Willie will go after one another and that leaves her hamsters safe for the foreseeable future. Even Ashley isn’t crying over Kara’s exit, as she felt the chick needed to go so that she could be the only one sliding under the radar. So, Kara, don’t let the door hit you in the butt on the way out, I guess.
Upon Kara’s exit, it’s time to strategize, of course. Dan wants Danielle to kiss up to Janelle’s team so that they won’t eliminate her (and, as Danielle’s his only remaining player, Dan). She thinks she can float by, or at least she hopes to float. Poor Danielle.
JoJo, realizing that Willie has turned the focus on Britney’s team as the one everyone wants off the island, tries to kiss up to Frank. Frank, having been burned by alliances before, plays it cool. He has nothing personal against anybody. Which means he’ll apologize if he decides to stab anyone in the back. I do think he might have a little something personal against Willie, but we’ll have to wait and see how that plays out.
Time to show off the HOH room! Frank was a cute kid. Boogie is thrilled to see a picture of his son in his adjoining suite. He can’t wait to see him — well, he can, because he doesn’t want to get eliminated, but he misses him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What’s more interesting is watching Willie skulk around the HOH room, looking depressed. Ian points out that Willie is feasting on a plate of crow served cold. It’s so awkward! Not surprisingly, Willie gets up and stalks out, and no one tries to stop him.
Willie seems slightly unhinged at this point, so Britney sits down to talk strategy with him. Oh, wait. Britney doesn’t want to talk strategy. She wants to tell Willie he made her look bad. “He”s a raging lunatic,” she says in the confession room. “No one wants to be attached to a sinking ship, and that”s the way Willie looks right now.” Willie, oddly enough, does not like being chastised. Willie don”t need no stinkin” coach! He”s a big boy and he can take care of himself! Um, yeah, that hasn’t worked so well thus far. If Willie seemed mostly sane, he would sit down and talk to Britney about what he could do to save himself. Instead, he gets defensive. Willie is not long for Hamster World.
On the patio, Shane shows everyone his weenis. Which is part of his elbow. Don’t be dirty! There are sparks between Shane and Danielle. Danielle says that if something happens, it will because it”s real. She isn’t some showmance slut! Again, this isn’t “The Bachelor,” people! But it would be cute if Shane and Danielle hooked up. Sort of a Romeo & Juliette thing, what with them being on different teams.
With Willie roaming around the house like a serial killer looking for a fresh victim, Britney, Boogie and Dan sit down to talk. Boogie is worried Britney will give him Willie, so he tries to convince her that, should she win the Coaches’ Challenge and sticks him or Dan with Willie, Shane will become a target! Threat, threat, threat! Britney thinks he”s treating her like an idiot. Britney basically tells Boogie as much. You’d think he’d realize that Britney thinks he’s full of it and realize he should try a different tactic with her, but no, he keeps trying to bully her. Good move, Boogie.
Dan and Janelle bond over family chat. She must miss her family, Dan says. Please don’t eliminate my last player! he thinks. Janelle does miss her baby, so she doesn’t mind Dan trying to bond over family life. Dan wants to be a better husband, but he knows his wife wants him to win. No tears from Dan! Who talks about himself in the third person!
Elsewhere, Boogie and Ian strategize. Be chill, fun Ian, Boogie suggests. Screw that. Ian wants to go on a “date” with Ashley! Boogie thinks this is insane, because no way would a hot girl want anything to do with Ian. Still, Boogie hopes it will make Ian more relaxed, so why not? It”s a slopdate! How disgusting and yet romantic! Ashley, amazingly, accepts Ian’s date. She has a soft spot for little nerdy guys, so she”s going to give him a chance. It”s not like she can stay at home and watch TV, so she might as well.
Ian gets all dressed up in a bowtie that”s too big for his neck. Ashley actually wears a good dress, which just underlines the point that Ian is out of his league. Still, he brought Ashely a hibiscus flower, which is a sweet gesture given that he can’t exactly pick up a bouquet anywhere. Ian is so excited! He hopes a showmance will help his game. I think Ian should just try to get through the date without doing something idiotic. That alone is aiming high for the guy who can kick himself in the head.
Britney talks to JoJo and Shane, who are deeply resentful of Willie, as he’s made them targets. Britney says it’s time to distance themselves from Willie. They’re just fine with that.
Time for the Coaches’ Challenge. The game will be Fat Stacks, which is all about carrying wads of money across a balance beam while wearing Hammer pants. It seems easy — but no! The players can only move side to side in the pants, which wedge their legs open Tricky, you devious Big Brother, you! Everyone has cute names for Britney once takes the lead. She’s a jack rabbit, she’s a flying squirrel, blah blah blah. She’s also too excited. Even though she takes a huge lead, she reaches for a wad of money and knocks a few piles to the ground. Instant disqualification. Dammit! Her only chance to stay ahead this week was to dump hothead Willie on one of the boys.
Boogie, who was next in line, wins… kind of? Frank notices that he jumped off BEFORE he hit the button. Boogie is disqualified! Yes! Janelle wins! She doesn’t take the option to swap any of her players, so she gives Ashley immunity. That pretty much guarantees that Willie is going home.
Willie tries to talk to JoJo. JoJo is NOT interested. Willie is going to explain everything to the HOH! His teammates shouldn’t suffer for his mistakes! I don’t think they will, but Willie announces he”s going to get evicted, he knows it, and starts stomping around the house. JoJo tries to make her case to Danielle that, while she’s on Willie’s team, she’s not on his side. Willie then decides to seek JoJo out AGAIN. Given that everyone in the HOH room (which seems to be a lot of people) can see but not hear Willie pacing around the house, it seems like he’s talking to JoJo a lot. JoJo is freaked, Britney wants him to go away and Shane is having none of Willie’s nonsense. Poor Willie. He has no friends. He can only pace. And pace. And pace.
Britney tells Willie to leave everyone alone. Can’t he go out with some class? No, Willie isn”t going to go out with class. He”s pissed! Um, why? I can tell he’s furious, but it’s all really his own fault, isn’t it? For absolutely no reason whatsoever, Willie starts a fight with Joe. “Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!” he shrieks. Joe raises his dukes like some turn of the century gentleman boxer.
Then, it all goes to hell in a handbasket. Willie shoves Joe. Joe, in fact, says Willie headbutted him, though I didn’t catch that. Britney cries. JoJo jugs Wil and Danielle. It’s all too much for these exceedingly sensitive and possibly overly dramatic hamsters!
Well, Willie’s in trouble. The ominous voice of Big Brother tells him to go to the DR. Willie does NOT want to go to the DR. Elsewhere, Jenn and Britney hug. You’d think this was a plane crash or something. I mean, it was a little much, but it wasn’t even a bar fight.
Boogie wants to talk to Janelle and Frank about this. He sees an opportunity to strategize! Thank God, another voice hits the PA system. Houseguests, gather in the living room!
Allison Grodner, executive produer, tells the hamsters that Willie is gone. Britney is relieved, though from a game perspective it sucks. Still, we knew it was going to happen. Willie was too hot headed, too nutty to last long. Still, you’d think he could have held it together until elimination. I guess in the Willie vs. his brother Russell comparison, Russell had better game. Imagine that.
Do you think Willie brought this on himself? Who do you think will be the target for eviction?