What could be better than twerking, you ask? Why, celebrity twerking, that’s what. Speaking of which, lots and lots of famous people have been getting in on the ass-jiggling dance craze lately, from Miley “Brigitte Nielsen” Cyrus to Rihanna to a magical TV creature known as Kendra Wilkinson Bassett. So which of them is the best? Find out below as we rate each of their respective skills on our 20-point “twerking achievement” scale. And may the best attention-craving celebrity win.
Ashley Tisdale
Form/Technique: 3/5
Artistry/Originality: 1/5
Showmanship: 3/5
Difficulty: 2/5
Total Score: 9/20
Comments: The “High School Musical” star tries her best here, but that wholesome Disney sparkle-dust still holds far too much sway over those hips.
Kendra Wilkinson Bassett
Form/Technique: 5/5
Aristry/Originality: 3/5
Showmanship: 3/5
Difficulty: 3/5
Total Score: 14/20
Comments: Wilkinson-Bassett is a surprisingly agile twerker, busting out at a Too $hort concert with moves that leave no doubt as to how she managed to score a spot as one of creepy Hugh Hefner’s three live-in girlfriends.
Vanessa Hudgens
Form/Technique: 0/5
Artistry/Originality: 2/5
Showmanship: 2/5
Difficulty: 1/5
Total Score: 5/20
Comments: I’m actually surprised Vanessa Hudgens doesn’t show better twerking skills here, because, well, she’s Vanessa Hudgens. In her defense though, being in Jay Leno’s vicinity would probably make anyone feel stiff and awkward.
Leona Lewis
Form/Technique: 2/5
Artistry/Originality: 0/5
Showmanship: 1/5
Difficulty: 0/5
Total Score: 3/20
Comments: Leona Lewis obviously covets the career of legendary YouTube twerking instructor Tweet Boogie, but I have news for her: she will never, ever be Tweet Boogie. Exhibit A: this video.
Beyonce
Form/Technique: 3/5
Artistry/Originality: 3/5
Showmanship: 4/5
Difficulty: 4/5
Total Score: 14/20
Comments: What Beyonce lacks in technique she makes up for in pure unadulterated showmanship, and the fact that she manages to work it in 17-inch heels without falling flat on her bootylicious behind is a feat for the ages.
Rihanna
Form/Technique: 2/5
Artistry/Originality: 0/5
Showmanship: 1/5
Difficulty: 1/5
Total Score: 4/20
Comments: Shockingly, Rihanna puts in a pretty lackluster performance here, though in her defense that girl next to her appears to be having a massive Tourette’s attack.
Miley Cyrus
Form/Technique: 5/5
Artistry/Originality: 5/5
Showmanship: 4/5
Difficulty: 3/5
Total Score: 17/20
Comments: If you can look beyond the fact that Miley Cyrus is twerking in a frog costume for some reason, there is undeniable skill on display here. Indeed, when it comes to our dear Miley this is just the tip of the twerkberg.
Nicki Minaj
Form/Technique: 5/5
Artistry/Originality: 5/5
Showmanship: 5/5
Difficulty: 5/5
Total Score: 20/20
Comments: Anyone who can convincingly feign an attraction to Lil Wayne and engage in a choreographed dance at the same time automatically gets a perfect score from me. But seriously, this is some prime-time twerking people. Extra bonus points for that delightfully nasty “disembodied sex-hand emerging from crotch” gesture.
WINNER: Nicki Minaj
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