Only two weeks left! And so many celebrities left! It’s madness, I tell you, madness! But there will be a double elimination tomorrow. Tonight, we get dancing. Most significantly, we get dance trios. One celeb, two professionals to prop up him or her. This does not seem like a great idea to me, as a waltz or a samba sort of lends itself to two people, not three. But I guess the desperate need for challenges on “DWTS” this season requires wacky stuff like this.
But before we can get to wackiness, we must watch 4 minutes of commercials. Of course, there are so many commercials on this show I hardly notice, but Tom helpfully informs us that the show suffered technical difficulties. I’m not sure if this is just a glitch or a sign of things to come. Let’s just call it there three person dance curse.
Because yesterday was Veteran’s Day, the theme for the first round of dances will be military. Lots of cute uniforms ahead!
Shawn & Derek
The Background: Hey, Derek’s dancing again! Although Shawn may want Mark back, since she got a perfect score last week. Still, Shawn says she’s glad to have Derek back. Uh-huh. Anyway, they’re doing a waltz about war veterans without hope in a war zone and the angels that look after them. Some of these dances need subtitles, people, because I’m not sure I’m going to get all that from just two people waltzing.
The Dance: This is very graceful and lovely to watch. But yes, Shawn still has problems being emotional. Derek, on the other hand, is emoting enough for both of them.
The Judges: Len says this was quiet, gentle and yet louder than any full on music you could hear. But he would have liked a little more full-on hold. Bruno thought it was heavenly perfection. Carrie Ann thinks Shawn has turned into an in-depth performer.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 10, Len – 9.5, Bruno – 10
Apolo & Karina
The Background: They have a tango tonight, but Apolo is discouraged from last week. They worked so hard, and still got nines! This week, he doesn’t want to play it safe. So, there’s going to be a zipline across the stage, and Apolo is going to zip down it.
The Dance: I’m not sure we needed the zip line, as we can hear it hissing over the music. This was pretty darn fierce, really. I will understand if he gets ticked about getting nines if he gets them this week.
The Judges: Bruno thought it was fully loaded for maximum fire power. He loved it. Carrie Ann loved it. Len thought it was full on attack, and it was great.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 10, Len – 9.5, Bruno – 10
Kirstie & Maks
The Background: They will be doing a waltz, but Kirstie is thrilled that this will be an emotional dance that depicts reverence to the military, what with Veteran’s Day being yesterday. Maks thinks they’re the little engine that could. Kirstie wants to win!
The Dance: All of the dances are short, but this one is REALLY short. It’s a few turns around the floor and over. Still, it’s very pretty. The waltz plays to Kirstie’s strengths, in that it’s all about precision and it’s really, really slow.
The Judges: Carrie Ann thinks it was one of her best dances, but it was too easy. Len thinks it was her best dance. Bruno thought it was elegant.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 9, Len – 9, Bruno – 9
It’s not a great score, but it’s their best yet, so they’re happy enough.
Kelly & Val
The Background: Val wants Kelly to smile. They’re waltzing! Be happy, Kelly! But she’s not feeling confident. There’s a double elimination! She’s sorry that she’s frustrated, but Val doesn’t mind. Because, allegedly, he’s getting some.
The Dance: Lovely lines. I’m always surprised that Kelly doesn’t get higher scores than she does, because she seems to be pretty slick on the dance floor. Yes, there are footwork issues, but she’s not alone in stumbling through some steps. She is the season 1 winner, but the judges always act like she stunk up the joint.
The Judges: Len thought it was a little sharp on occasion. Carrie Ann thought it was beautiful, so suck it, Len. Anyway, Len wanted more flow. And he thinks Carrie Ann has no standards. Welcome to the Bickersons! Bruno thought Kelly was a twinkling twirler. Carrie Ann thinks Kelly is growing every week.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 9.5, Len – 9, Bruno – 9.5
Gilles & Peta
The Background: Gilles and Peta are worried. They need perfect scores! That’s pretty much it — just lots and lots of worry. This is IMPORTANT to Gilles.
The Dance: It’s “Top Gun” as a quickstep, and it’s very good. Let’s face it, Gilles is a natural, really, even if he messes up here and there.
The Judges: Bruno thought it was fast and efficient. Carrie Ann thought it was almost “Top Gun” but there were slip-ups. But it was really close! Len thought it was thunder and lightning.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 9.5, Len – 10, Bruno – 10. Gilles is happy to get a ten from Len, and he thanks the American army for freeing his nation 67 years ago.
Emmitt & Cheryl
The Background: Emmitt needs to get a perfect score. Darryl “Moose” Johnston encourages him because they’re friends who never, ever see one another. Emmitt is inspired to rise up and meet the challenge. Thanks, Moose!
The Dance: Another quickie waltz. This was good, but kinda boring.
The Judges: Carrie Ann thought it was smooth, but he slipped. Carrie Ann wants him to push himself. Len thinks he puts the “oo” in smooth. Still, he needs more fluidity. Bruno thought it was very classy, but there was a stumble.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 9, Len – 9.5, Bruno – 9.5
Melissa & Tony
The Background: They’ll be doing the quickstep, and Melissa doesn’t want this to end. She means her stint on the show, I’m guessing, not the quickstep.
The Dance: Melissa may not be an A-list celebrity, but she is one sharp dancer. Wonderful job, really.
The Judges: Len thought it was great. He thinks it was the bee’s knees. Bruno wants to join the navy. It made him think of Ann Miller and Gene Kelly in “On the Town.” Woah. Carrie Ann salutes them.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 10, Len – 10, Bruno – 10
Now, we begin the horror of threesome dancing. This makes me imagine a really awkward high school dance, honestly.
Shawn & Derek & Mark
The Background: Shawn is confused. With this dance, sometimes she’s supposed to be a dude, and sometimes super feminine. Derek thinks this samba will push the boundaries. Shawn thinks the audience will go crazy and love it. But will the judges?
The Dance: It’s “The Lion King” or “Encino Man,” I guess, though it is lots of fun and very fiery. What it isn’t is a samba, from what I can tell. But how the heck are you supposed to do a samba with three people anyway?
The Judges: Len didn’t think it was a samba and thought it was self-indulgent. If Shawn goes home tomorrow, it’s Derek and Mark’s fault. Bruno has jungle fever. But it wasn’t a samba. Carrie Ann disagrees. No, there wasn’t a lot of samba, but the samba steps that were there were perfect.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 10, Len – 7, Bruno – 9. Woof — a 7? Poor Shawn. She’s really being punished for choreography she had nothing to do with. I call foul!
Apolo & Karina & Sasha
The Background: Instead of bringing in a woman, Apolo is going to have to dance with another man — which means he will have to mirror him. It’s a risk, as any mistakes will stand out in bold face. But Apolo is ready to take a risk.
The Dance: I keep losing track of which dancer is Apolo and which is Sasha. Yes, they’re wearing matching outfits, but more importantly, Apolo looks like a pro dancer. This is very good.
The Judges: Bruno thought it was a huge risk but he conquered it. Carrie Ann thought it was one of his best, despite some footwork problems at the beginning. Len thought it was sharp, tight and together — which is what you want in a jive.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 9.5, Len – 9.5, Bruno – 10
Kirstie & Maks & Tristan
They’re angels. Kirstie is so happy to be dancing with two gorgeous men, even if that does mean doing the paso doble.
The Dance: This is kind of hot. Is Kirstie great? Not really, but Maks and Tristan are definitely fun to watch.
The Judges: Carrie Ann thought they made a nice little sandwich, but it was sloppy. She should have worn shoes. Len thought it had aggression and attitude but lacked finesse. Bruno thought it was “Valley of the Dolls” and could have been more refined.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 8, Len – 8, Bruno – 8
Kelly & Val & Louis
The Background: Kelly wanted to work with Louis. She’s known him longer, but as Louis tells Val, she knows Val “deeper.” That’s one way of putting it.
The Dance: Jive. This is cute! Again, I think Kelly really does do great work most of the time. But I doubt the judges will see it that way.
The Judges: Len liked the end. It was fun, it was fast, it was flamboyant and… fabulous. Bruno thought she held it together brilliantly. Carrie Ann thinks it was very difficult and she did an amazing job.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 9.5, Len – 9.5, Bruno – 9.5 Those are surprisingly high scores for Kelly. Good for her!
Giles & Peta & Chelsie
The Background: Gilles is so excited to be doing a hot salsa with two hot women. He doesn’t even seem to mind all the practice. He’s dancing with two hot women!
The Dance: As expected, Gilles does a good job. He seems a little off here and there, but I think that’s the problem with dancing a threesome. Insert your possibly impolite joke about threesomes… here.
The Judges: Bruno thinks the menage a trios comes naturally to him, but he lost timing. Carrie Ann agrees. Len thought he exposed himself. In a good way. I’m really thinking Len might have wanted to rethink that statement.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 9.5, Len – 10, Bruno – 9.5
Next week, the dances will be in tribute to Michael Jackson. Gilles is SO excited. He loves Michael Jackson!
Emmitt & Cheryl & Kym
The Background: Emmitt thinks he’s going to have a challenge dealing with a lot of arms and legs
in this salsa. Yes, that’s what most men worry about when they have to dance with two sexy, barely dressed women — arms and legs.
The Dance: This is spunky and so fun! The shoulder rolls are spot on — Emmitt always has smooth upper body work. Nice.
The Judges: Carrie Ann thought he was in the red-hot, spicy, jalapeño zone. Len thought it was clever and he had great rhythm. Bruno thought it looked natural.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 10, Len – 10, Bruno – 10
Melissa & Tony & Henry
The Background: Melissa will be a dominatrix in this paso doble. Because a threesome isn’t kinky enough. Anyway, she needs to control Tony and Henry in this dance.
The Dance: She’s a little off in places, but otherwise, excellent moves. She looks like a pro. I don’t even mind the high-pitched “Ha! Ha! Ha!” in the middle of the dance, because she’s at least trying to be fierce even if her vocal chords aren’t really in alignment with that.
The Judges: Len thinks she was like a frisbee passed from one to the other. He says of all the celebs, Melissa impresses him the most. Bruno thought she was a queen bee. He thinks she’s a fantastic dancer. Carrie Ann says she owned that dance.
Scores: Carrie Ann – 10, Len – 10, Bruno – 10
Melissa & Tony are at the top, while Kirstie & Maks are at the bottom. As usual. Tonight was a weird night of dancing, but amazingly, some of the threesomes made it work. And for the ones that didn’t, it at least gave some of the celebs an ego boost and a chance to say they had a threesome. Not that some of them probably couldn’t say that already.
What did you think of the trio dances? Do you think Len was unfair to Shawn? Who do you think will be cut on Tuesday?